Life after Jem
by triseaton
Summary: The battle against Mortmain and his clockwork army has been won by the Nephilim.But the battle took its toll: Jem Carstairs was killed in battle. This is a story where Will and Tessa will have another chance to be together. With Tessa devastated and torn from Jem's loss, Will comforts her. Dirty sexy scenes included! Please review! This is my first fanfic. :
1. Chapter 1: Death of One

**THE CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE. THEY ARE FROM CASSANDRA CLARE'S THE INFERNAL DEVICES.**

"Jem! You cannot do this! Not to me, not to Tessa! Please, Jem!" I cried. My parabatai, bloody on the ground, barely alive. I've given him an iratze but it didn't work. It is not enough. Tessa needs him. I need him. Her baby needs him. Jem can't die. Not yet. Not like this. That goddamn Mortmain. How was he able to summon a Greater Demon this strong. Tonight, the Enclave fought a hard battle against Mortmain and his clockwork army.

"Will-" Jem croaked, "I know."

"What? What are you blabbering about?Jem, you can't die here. Save your strength, you idiot!" I argued, holding his hand tighter. He squeezed back.

"I know you love her. You love her more than I love her, Will. I was selfish, you-"

"No." I lied, "I don't love her."

"Don't lie to me, Will. You are my parabatai and I am yours." he looks at me with those pleading silver eyes, life slowly draining away from it.

"Jem, please hold on. I'm begging you." I pleaded, holding his hand between my own hands. I turn to Charlotte who was standing a few inches away and tearing up, "Charlotte! Help me with Jem! We need to get him back to the Institute! Now!"

Charlotte stood frozen. Henry who was beside her spoke, "Will. It is too late. Even if we bring him back now. He'll die before we get to the Institute. With all that poison and Jem's-"

"At least try, Henry! Try!" I shout angrily, interrupting him. But, I know what Henry will say. The harsh truth: this kind of demon poison, with Jem's condition, he can't survive this.

"Will. Listen to me." he squeezes my hand, "Tessa. Take care of her. For me, be the strong and healthy husband she needs, and the loving father our child needs. Be there for her. Don't let her be sad."

Jem suddenly coughs blood. I panic and try to give him a rune to ease the pain. He waved me off weakly. He smiles to me, " I'd be happy if our child can play the violin, too. I hope like her mother, he will be healthy and live a long life. And Will, don't hurt her anymore. She-she told me. It should have been you. You and her. You're too kind to me. Always trying to put me first than yourself. Will, I-"

Jem violently coughs. More blood. He lost too much blood earlier and he's losing a lot more. He grips his shirt, his knuckles white. He's in a lot of pain and I can't do anything.

"Jem! Damn it, you bastard, shut up already! Save your energy." I shout, holding my tears back, "Please."

"Will," he breathes, "It-it hurts a lot."

"Then shut the bloody hell up, Jem."

"But, I deserve it, I think. Because, what you've felt all this time must've been more painful and-" he smiles weakly.

"Jem." I say. I stroke his hair away from his bloody,sweaty forehead.

"Will, Tessa. Protect her. Love her, I know you do and you forever will. She was supposed to be truly yours, had not it been for that curse. Will, Tessa, she carries you in her heart. She loves you too. Please, protect them. Do it because I could not."

"Inside the box, Will. Look inside it. You'll find-"

His last words. His hands slip through my hands and drops to his side. My parabatai, Jem, lies lifelessly in front of me. There is an empty feeling in my heart now. I can't feel Jem like before anymore. I stare at his body, bloody and dirty. His silver hair, covered in dirt and grease. His eyes, closed, as if just sleeping. I wait for tears but they do not come. Guilt. Pain. Sadness. Anger. All the emotions rush through my body for a moment. Then I feel nothing. I feel empty. I should be brave. I must respect Jem's wishes. He would not want to see me like this. He would want me to look best. For his wife, for my beloved, Tessa. Be the husband and the father he couldn't be.

"_Ave atque Vale."_ I say shakily. I turn around and walk away. Charlotte grabs me by the arm, but I shake it off. I hear her calling after me but I ignore her. I run. Fast. To try and get away from this nightmare. I ran and I ran. Only to find myself running towards the Institute. I stood at the gates, out of breath. Then, I saw her. She looks up at me. Those beautiful gray-blue eyes, full of anxiety and sadness. She stands up, holding her enlarged stomach, and takes a step towards me. I feel a pang in my chest. I froze.

How can I tell her about Jem? In her condition now? Too much stress would not be good for her and their child. What should I do? How can I be a good father and a husband to her? Without feeling so much pain for Jem. He should be in my place. He tells me that this is my rightful place. It does not feel like it. She is his wife; That is his child.

"Will." Tessa's angelic voice broke me from my reverie. Her voice, full of anxiety, "What happened? Are you all right?"

I did not answer. I couldn't. I tried to open my mouth but nothing comes out. I close it again and clench my teeth. I don't know what to say to her. I don't want to tell her but I must. I have to. She will know sooner or later. I meet her halfway and hug her tightly as if there's no tomorrow. We stay like that for a long time. She sighs,"Will."

"Tess." I whisper, my tears silently falling.

_Hello! That was chapter one: The Death of One. I'm going to upload Chapter 2 tomorrow. This is my first time to write a fanfic, I hope you like it!Please review! I'm open to suggestions. ^^_

_-tris_


	2. Chapter 2: Confession, that night

**AN: This is chapter 2 of Life After Jem. There will be a bit of WillxTessa moments here. And they will intensify as the story progresses.**

**Sorry if I posted a day (or two) late. I had to do a lot of things for school.**

**The story will be told in Will **_**and **_**Tessa's POVs. This chapter is a Tessa POV. **

**Plus, most of this is a flashback. Haha. **

**Okay, Enjoy! Please review. ^^ 4**

**THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO CASSANDRA CLAIRE'S THE INFERNAL DEVICES. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THEM. _**

I wake in my bed feeling nauseated. I roll over to my side to see if Jem has returned, only to find it empty. I frowned, Jem should've been here by now. Will has returned last night. Last night? Was I not waiting outside when Will came? I try to recall the events last night.

Will, wrapped his arms around me and whispered to me my name. His voice, beautiful but cold and distant, sent shivers throughout my body. Being in Will's arms calmed my nervous soul. My anxiety, for a moment, was lost in an abyss, lost in the abyss of Will's warmth. It is a lie if I say that I do not desire and enjoy Will's presence._ I love Jem. _I love Jem, but, a part of me, loves Will too. That part of me will always love Will. I thought, being with Jem most of the time, I would have forgotten Will. But, my feelings for him were only dormant. I have realized it a few weeks ago, when Mortmain's automatons attacked us while Jem and Will were forced to accompany me to buy dresses. Will covered for me and Jem, as he deemed that Jem should protect me instead. He was doing great until an automaton, which he thought was 'dead', sprang up to him and slashed his side. Jem, turned to me, his silver eyes darkened with fear, and told me to hide. I asked him for a dagger, so I could protect myself. He hesitated, I reassured him that I will be fine and frantically told him to help Will. As he rushed to Will's side, I see an automaton hit Will. I gasped, Will fell to the ground. His midnight blue coat was smeared with blood. He's bleeding and losing a lot of blood. How I hate to be of no use to them. How I want to rush to Will's side and help them.

Lost in my reverie, I barely noticed a faceless automaton was rushing towards me. I held up the dagger with both of my hands. Gabriel Lightwood and Will's efforts in training me did not go to waste. I managed to plunge the dagger into the automaton's chest. It made a whirring clock sound. I pulled the it staggered backward, an oppurtunity to escape from it presented itself; So, I run to Jem who was kneeling beside Will, barely conscious yet still able to swore under his breath.

We rushed back to the Institute. Brother Enoch treated Will almost immediately but Will still remained unconscious for a few days. Charlotte said that the blades the automaton used had a strong kind of demon poison on it. Brother Enoch advised that Will must stay in bed for a few days to let the poison subside sfor he has already given a counter for the poison. Jem and I took turns watching him, Charlotte would pitch in from time to time but Henry scolds her that it would not be good for her and their child.

A night came when Jem had to leave. Unaccustomed to fight without Will, his parabatai,an anxious and hesitant Jem will be accompanied by the Lightwoods tonight. He instructed me to take a rest if I'm tired, Sophie will take care of Will. But that night, I did not feel any exhaustion. I sat there, holding Will's cold hand. My mind is restless. I've been thinking of Will's health. Jem's health seems to have improved. I'm happy that it has. It seems that the news of the new addition to our family has lifted his spirits more. His face was plastered with a grin when we talked about it. But, Will's health seem to be deteriorating. He has been drinking, this time,it was real. He looked pale and exhausted every time we meet. There are bags under his eyes and his shining blue eyes looks more like a rusting blue. He also refuses to talk to me and his old attitude was back, only now, he seems to be more crude and irritating.

But despite that, I can't hate him, especially now that I know his curse. How I feel about Jem and Will, I am confused. _Will has always been the brighter burning star, the one to catch attention — but Jem is a steady flame, unwavering and honest_, Sophie had said to me once. It was true. Between me and Will, there is a burning passion I cannot deny. A passion I desire. His fire, enough to consume me whole. As to Jem, I feel protected, I feel that I will not be burned by his flames. I love Jem. And I love Will, too. Though, I have caused Will great pain. Knowing that he loves me, yet he watched me marry another man. The worst part is, that man is his parabatai, his brother, his best friend. I fear, I am being unfaithful to Jem, for loving Will too. I would only be fooling myself if I say I do not love them both. I stare out the window, the silver moon was full, shining beautifully against the darkness of the night.

"What are you thinking about so deeply?" Will spoke weakly as he broke my train of thoughts. His blue eyes fixed on me and the expression on his face, unreadable.

"Will!" I exclaimed gripping his hand tighter. "Do you need anything? Does it hurt? Oh god."

"I am fine, Tess." he closes his eyes, squeezing my hand. "Calm down."

I sat back down with a sigh. I use my other hand to stroke his disheveled hair. He smiles slighty as I stroke his hair. Looking at Will like this, I want to wrap my arms around him, tell him everything would be all right. I desire to be held in his arms._No! I must not think this way! _I thought. _I love Jem. I am his and he is mine. _

"I will call Charlotte, inform her that you are conscious. You need Charlotte to examine you." I say as I motioned to leave. "You also need rest, Will. You look paler than usual."

"No." he spoke softly, "I needn't anything but _you_, Tess."

"Will, I-"

"Just for tonight, Tess.", he pleads. "Please, stay by my side."

I sat on the edge of his bed, taking his hand, placing them between mine, and stroking them absent-mindedly. I felt his eyes on me, I stop stroking his hand and looked at him. I cannot tear my gaze away from him, my eyes met his and I feel I am being sucked into the depths of it. He sat up slowly, pulling his hand from my grasp. "Tess-"

"Will, I'm so sorry." I exhaled, as if I've been holding my breath in, "I'm sorry if I have hurt you greatly. I did not mean it. I just thought that Jem needed me more and I need to stay by his side. And you treated me coldly, I thought you despised me. So I tried to shut off my feelings for you. And my feelings for Jem have developed. But seeing you like this, seeing you in pain, I just can't help myself to worry about you. You keep smiling even though deep inside, you are breaking apart. But, I can't care for you like this because I love Jem. I am his. I should be his and only his. But how can I be his when I love you too? My heart breaks when I think of the both of you. Jem with his illness, you with your fake curse. Maybe it would have been better if I never came."

Will looked at me, a pained expression on his face. I am not sure if he understood me, I was talking so fast, I am out of breath. My eyes are stinging, tears forming in my eyes. Will leaned toward me, placing his hand on top of mine. He places his head on my shoulder, burrying his face on my neck.

"Tess," he whispered softly. "Do you remember the time we got back from the Lightwood's mansion? The day I told you about the curse in the drawing room? The day you told me Jem proposed to you? I was happy that I could finally tell you how I felt, knowing that nothing bad would ever happen to you because the curse was not real. That day was also the worst day of my life, to learn that the woman I have ever loved is engaged to Jem-the person I treated as my own brother. I came to Jem after that. I wanted to tell him that-that without you, there is nothing for me, that if he loved me, he would let me have you, that he can't love you like I do. But, that night, he told me about the proposal and that you've accepted. I felt like dying that night, the heart ache I felt was eating me up, slowly and painfully. Seeing him so happy, healthy even, I could not take you, the one he wanted the most, away from him."

He lifted his head, to face me, gently brushing his fingers on my cheeks and wiping the tears that stained my face, his eyes also wet with tears. "Even if...even if it meant my own happiness. Tess, you are my happiness, my light, my life."

I put my hand on my mouth to stifle my sobs. How badly I want to embrace Will tightly and hold him in my arms, to tell him that I love him. I love him too. But it is too late for us.

"Shh. Tess," he spoke softly, his voice soothing as if I were a child crying overs spilled milk or a broken toy. "Don't cry, Tess. I understand. I understand what you meant, what you felt."

I let out a cry,as he spoke those words, _I understand. _Will didn't understand. The feeling when you are torn between two people you loved so dearly. How I tried to bury my feelings for him. How badly I wanted to rush to his side. How hard it was to see Jem suffer and how harder it was to see Jem so happy while he was dying inside. Because I was the only one that Jem wanted the most, he sacrificed his own happiness for him. There is so much I want to tell him, to apologize for, to thank him for.

"Will, I am so sorry." I sobbed, it was the only thing I could say. He placed his other hand on my face too, now it is cradled between his cold hands. He then leaned forward, kissed my forehead, my eyes and my tear-stained cheeks. He finally found his way to my mouth, kissing it gently. It suddenly became full of desire and emotions. For a moment, it was as if time stopped and we had the time to ourselves. Jem. Jem's image appeared in my mind, smiling at me with hisusual gentle smile. I put my hands flat on his chest, pushed him gently away from me, breaking the kiss. I cover my mouth with my hands, I betrayed Jem, kissing Will like that. I looked at him incredulously. He looked at me with confused, pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry, Will. We can't." I say. I stood up, walking away from him, heading to the door. I looked back at him, my tone pleading, "I don't want to hurt him, Will. I'm hurting you enough. It hurts too much."

With that, I ran down the corridor to my old room. I stayed there for the night unable to face Jem because guilt would tear me up and eat me whole. That was the last time Will and I spoke. Aside from greetings, we remained silent.


	3. Chapter 3: Letters and News

**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, ALL OF THEM ARE FROM CASSANDRA CLARE **

I carried Tessa all the way to her room, she fainted upon hearing the news of Jem's death. I should have not told her too soon, but it would not be fair to her. She deserve the right to know, she _is_ his wife. Tess, how I loathe to see you hurt, how I wish to take this pain away from you. I gently lay her down the bed, brushing away the hair covering her angelic face. I gaze upon her angelic beauty, I will never get tired of looking at her, she is my _yin fin_, my drug. She destroys me from the inside yet I can't live without her. Like Jem, I, too, have to rely on my drug to live on. Tessa is my life, my meaning, my happiness. Seeing her happy, seeing her smile, is enough for me, though it kills me inside knowing I can't have her. I want to hold her in my arms, to kiss her good night. I want her to be mine. If I had told her the truth, if I had not pushed her away, would it have been different? Would it have been me whom she wakes next to in the morning? I sighed deeply, regretting my thoughts, repulsed by it. I lean down on her, kissing her forehead softly.

"Rest well, my angel." I whisper.

"Will." she murmurs.

I smile as my name came out of her lips. How beautiful my name sounds when she says it, it is as if the Heavens opened and a chorus of angels began to sing.

I do not want to leave her side, in fact, I would like to lie there with her, embrace her, protect her. But, there are limits now, Tess is married to Jem. _But Jem is dead. _I think. I shake my head, disgusted with the thought. How can I even think of that! I love Jem. I love Tessa, too. But, did he not tell me to be there for her? To care for her and their child as my own? '_Tessa. Take care of her. For me, be the strong and healthy husband she needs, and the loving father our child needs. Be there for her. Don't let her be sad', 'Will, Tessa. Protect her. Love her, I know you do and you forever will. She was supposed to be truly yours, had not it been for that curse. Will, Tessa, she carries you in her heart. She loves you too. Please, protect them. Do it because I could not'. _

As I recall his last words, I remember him telling me about the box. _Inside the box, Will. Look inside it. You'll find-._ Though he was not able to finish his sentence, I clearly know which box he was talking about. It was the box that carried his drug. I rushed out quietly out of Tessa's bed room, rushing toward Jem's old room across the hallway. I opened the door, feeling the gap that has been placed in my heart. I was expecting Jem, playing his horrid violin, asking if it was me who entered. Jem coughing, Jem lying on his bed, paler than usual, Jem smiling at me. I bit my lip, trying to push the painful thoughts of Jem out of my mind. Now, the room is silent, it seems dead, the witchlight making it look more grave and gloomy. I close the door behind me, moving toward Jem's bed. I noticed his violin laying on his bed, I stopped. I look around to find the case which was in its usual place, I took the violin and carefully placed it inside. Jem would not want it carelessly lying around , he did say he wanted his child to play it. I try to smile. His child would act better if he had raised him or her, better than me.

As I walk over to his bed side, I flopped myself onto his bed. I carefully opened the box, expecting the _yin fin._ To my surprise, there was no drug, but instead, there were letters. I took the letters out, checking to whom they are adressed. Five letters: for Tessa, Sophie, Charlotte and Henry, his child, and one for me. I placed the other four down and opened my letter.

_William, _

_If I had a chance to pick once again, a parabatai, I'd still choose you. You are not only my parabatai, but also my brother, my family, along with Henry,Charlotte, Jessie and everyone else in the Institute. Why are there letters, as if I knew my life would end today? I knew. I was growing weaker, though I looked healthier, did I not? It was only me, enjoying my last days, living it to the fullest. I do not want you and Tessa to worry. Tessa. I loved her greatly, as to why she married me, pity or love, I am curious. I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you. It pained me to see it. But I have realized, it would have been for the better. So that when the dreaded time came that I have to die, she would not have a hard time to forget me. I realized, that maybe, my death would not matter to her anyway. William, remember the time you were afflicted with Demon poison, when we fought those faceless automatons? I told you before that there was a night that I had to fight with the Lightwoods, it was the night you regained consciousness and Tessa was the one looking after you. I came home earlier than expected and I decided that I should check on you first. Then, I heard you tell her about your true feelings. I heard everything. How delightful it is that you're honest with her, but you should know that I discovered that your night adventures are all lies. I did not question you, I know you have your reasons. William, I saw you kissing her that night. I am not angry, you needn't worry. I know she loves you too. She will always love you. However, I am unhappy that you didn't tell me how you feel about her or about your curse. You care too much for me, William. Even putting me first before your own happiness. If I knew, I would've let her go. I would've been happy to let her go, though, it would honestly hurt. I am dying anyway. She could've lived happily with a husband that would live longer and healthier. _

_When I pass away, take care of them. Be the husband and the father I cannot be. I trust you to fulfill my request. I hope my child would be like me, but healthier. Please don't teach him, if he is a boy, to be like you or I might regret dying. If she is a girl, protect her from men like you, who likes to play around. Tell Tessa I love her greatly and marrying her and having a child with her was the most wonderful thing that has happened in my short life. Farewell,brother. Until we meet again. _

_Ave atque Vale, _

_James Carstairs_

Jem. My hands shook, I was unable to stop myself from crying. I fall back to lie on the bed, covering my eyes with my arm and clutching Jem's letter to my chest. Why did he not tell me he wasn't feeling better? He was pretending to be healthy, but even so, he should've told me. He realized how I felt for _his wife_ but why did he not reprimand me? He heard everything, why did he not confront me? Why, Jem? Why? You would have done the same thing for me, if you were me. She loved you, too, like I loved you, like I loved her. You knew I was lying to you, should you not have doubted me? Confronted me? Losing you is one thing, but this, James, this is more painful to bear. You are my greatest sin, Jem. Is this your vengeance? This undying guilt you are making me feel? Or are you trying to console me with such words. I will keep my promise to you, I will uphold your last wishes, but, would it be fair to love her, fair to you? I cannot replace you, Jem. I can only be just _there _for them. You will always be the husband, the father. I will raise your child as my own, but he will know that you are his father, that he is of your blood.

I lay there, still crying quietly, when a disembodied voice called out,"Will, what are you doing here?"

Charlotte's voice, I recognize.

"Go away, Charlotte. This isn't-this isn't a good time." I say, my voice strangled.

"Will, I know you're upset. But, right now our priority is Tessa. Jem's body is already in the Silent City, the brothers are only waiting for our signal. We also have to send a message to the Cla-", she spoke softly, as if trying to soothe me.

"I don't care about the Clave, Charlotte." I interrupt her,sitting up and drying my eyes. "We can't tell Tessa yet."

"But we should! She has all the right to know." Charlotte's voice rose, thinning. "We can't keep that from her."

"She fainted when I told her earlier, Charlotte!" I shout. Seeing her shocked face, I lower my voice. "She's pregnant, Charlotte. Too much stress won't be good for her. Think about it, what if it was Henry. What would you do? I-I don't want to see her hurting. Jem, instructed me to take care of her, I will. He wrote letters to us, Charlotte. He knew. He knew he'd die today. He wrote letters for you and Henry, for Tessa and their child, for me, and even for Sophie."

I took the letters from the box, Charlotte's eyes trained on me. I walk over to her, showing her the letters.

"He left it in his box. The box where he put his _medicine_." I say. I took their letter and gave it to her. "That's your letter. Here is the one for Sophie's. I will give Tessa the other two."

She looked at me, her eyes searching mine. She spoke softly, "You love her too, Will. Am I wrong?"

"More than anything, Charlotte." I answer. It is the truth. I love her so much, I'd throw everything for her. My future. My virtues. My life.

"How do you feel then? Are you happy that Jem's dead? That you could step in, now that he's gone?" she asks, her tone dead.

I glare at her, anger welling up inside me. "How could you even think that way? Jem is my parabatai, my brother! And more than anything, I would do anything for him! For him Charlotte, I gave up Tessa. Because he loved her and she was the one thing he wanted the most! I loved her too. I loved her so much but I had to push her away because of a stupid fake curse! She loves me too, Charlotte. If I didn't push her away, I'd be in Jem's place. I love them both, Charlotte. I gave up my happiness for him yet here you are,accusing me that I might be happy because Jem is dead!"

"Will I-" she gasped, looking behind me, horror-struck.

I follow her gaze and turned around. My eyes widened, my heart beating fast. A mixed feeling of pain, regret and anger rose. A brown-haired girl with blue-gray eyes stood by the door, her hair falling down her shoulders, one hand on her enlarged stomach, one resting on the door frame clutching for support. Tessa.

"Will." she cries, taking a small step forward. "What do you mean? Jem is-dead? Jem's dead?"

I glare at Charlotte, but she does not seem to notice as she stood there staring at Tessa, wide-eyed. "Tessa-"

"Will. Tell me. Please." she pleads, ignoring Charlotte. She took another step forward, but it seems her knees turned to water. She fell to her knees, I barely catched her. She was sobbing frantically, clinging to my chest as I put my arms around her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**AN: Hello. Sorry, I've been delayed. Lack of inspiration and time. Here's chapter 3 for you. Enjoy! Please review and tell me how I can make it better. Feel free to ask me here or message me!**

**-tris**


	4. Chapter 4: Close encounters

AN: Hello, dearest readers. I apologize for the late upload. I will post chapter 5 soon, my wifi connection sucks now. This is a Tessa POV. Please review and let me know what you think! PM me or message me at my tumblr: **fouriamdauntless . tumblr . com**

* * *

"Miss Tessa" Sophie knocked on my door, "May I come in?"

"Go ahead, Sophie." I answer flatly.

I lay on the bed, facing away from the door. I want to cry, but my tears have ran dry. I feel numb, I don't feel any emotion except for my longing for Jem. I haven't talked to anyone except for Will and Sophie. They would be the only two people I want to talk to right now because they loved Jem like I do, too. Few weeks have passed since Jem's funeral. Shadowhunters came to honor him, even those from his homeland came. Will gave Jem a farewell speech, in my stead since I could not even speak without breaking down into frantic sobs. His voice shook as he spoke, trying to stop his tears. In the end, Will managed to smile weakly, adressing to Jem, "_If there is a life after this one, let me meet you in it, James Carstairs."_

"Miss Tessa, Breakfast is ready, the others are waiting for you." she says as she places the new sheets on the table.

"I am not hungry, Sophie, please tell them they do not have to wait for me."

"You can't lock yourself away from the world, miss Tessa." she clears her throat, "I am sorry if I am intruding but did you not once do this too? Miss Tessa, you are not the only one who lost Master Jem. Mr Branwell did, Mrs Branwell did, Master Will did, I did."

Her last words were not more than a whisper. Sophie, when I met her, I noticed she liked Jem, but now, she has Gideon, does she not? But, that does not mean what she felt for him is gone, just like I am with Will. I sigh, closing my eyes, still refusing to go. I can't face them. How can I face them like this? I have not looked at the mirror since Jem's death, I have not even left this room at all. Charlotte usually comes here to persuade me to stop. On the other hand, Will comes here just to watch over me, he reasons that I may die from sadness and he does not want that. Sometimes, he comes here drunk, dozing off on the chair.

The other night, I wake from a nightmare and as I was crying helplessly, Will,wearing only sleeveshirt and trousers, came in. He sat on the edge of my bed, smelling like a drunken old man. I feel his deep blue eyes on me, it made me shudder. To my surprise, Will patted my head gently and as I looked up, he was crying too. But unlike me, he cried silently.

"Will. Why are you crying?" I sniffed. This was, for a long time, the first time I spoke again. Will is capable of making me do things I would have never thought of doing. He makes me do things that are not of my character.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing." he said, wiping my tears.

"Bad dream." I spoke softly, reaching to wipe his tears. "You?"

"Bad dream too."

"But you were out drinking, weren't you?" I ask him, knowing the answer. Will, since I married Jem, goes drinking and whoring frequently. Jem noticed too, but he told me to let Will do what he wants. Although, Jem and I are aware that he isn't whoring, just drinking. I inch a bit closer to him, trying to get the answer directly from his lips.

"I was. But then, seeing you this broken, seeing you crying so helpless, seeing you sad, this is a bad dream." he says, brushing a hand through his tousled hair. "I often dreamt of losing you, seeing you like this... It seems you are running away from the world, trying to seclude yourself from it. I dreamt once that you were standing in front of me, but when I tried to reach for you, there was some sort of invisible wall between us. You couldn't hear me, I called your name again and again. Slowly, you drifted away from me, I try to run after you but however fast I run, I couldn't reach you. But, to be honest, that was not the worst."

"Not the worst?" I ask, examining his face. He smiled at me. That beautiful smile of his, I have never thought that I would see it again. For the first time again, I have seen his genuine smile. I smiled back at him. He leaned over to me, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Remember the day I told you about my curse?" he asked, looking at me through his long lashes.

I nod. _How can I forget Will? Wasn't that the day I told you about our engagement? How I broke your heart that day and how I ripped my heart in two._

As if he heard what I said, he chuckled, "Well, before that Miss Gray, I dreamt of you every night, how I would love that it was you who visited my dreams, but I hated it."

"Oh." I say dropping my gaze, sounding a bit disappointed. He takes my hand, lacing it with his. With his touch, I felt color rush to my cheeks.

"I don't mean it that way, Tess." he spoke softly, "In my dreams, you die. Every night it haunts me. I wake in the middle of the night with tears, my heart beating against my chest rapidly. Only the company of books and knowing that you loving me means your death, kept me from rushing to your room and holding you in my arms."

If Will was honest with me from the start, we could have been...

Will spoke breaking me away from my thoughts, "Tess."

I look up at him, his face were inches from mine, I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Will."I breathe.

"I love you, Tessa." he whispers, leaning in closer. I close my eyes as his soft lips found mine. I put my hands lightly on his neck as he wraps his arm around my waist and his free hand brushing my cheekbones gently. The kiss grew deeper, hotter, but it was different from Will's kisses then. His kisses are thick and soft with desire, he did not move urgently, but moved gently, passionately. He leans toward me further, pushing me down the bed as he places himself on top of me gently, taking note of my enlarged stomach. My hand found its way to his hair, stroking it gently. My body, burning with desire, ached for Will. I pull him closer to me making him gasp against my mouth. Our kisses turned into passion, filling with more desire, more lust. I part my mouth to let him in, he tasted like mint and sugar. We melted into the kiss, his tongue played around with mine, making him moan. It felt as if the world was slowly disappearing, as if the darkness of the night were swallowing us and Will was the burning light, the only light I can see.

His fingers traced my body, from my cheeks, down to my waist and to my bare legs. His every touch left a burning,tingling sensation making my body hot. Will, from my lips, traced down his kisses to my neck. He gently kisses me just above my collarbone, making me moan. I feel Will smile as he kissed my lips again, pulling me up slightly as I feel his arm around me. Suddenly, he rolled to his side, falling to the bed. His sudden move surprised me, a soft cry escaped my lips. Now, it was me on top. He chuckles as I leaned in to continue the kiss. I feel the erection in his crotch. It was big. I try to rub myself against it, gaining moans from Will.

"_Haaa-_Dear God, Tess." he moans against my lips,I smile as I kiss him again, this time more urgent and full of lust. I feel him place his hands on my hips, his hands moved upward, hiking my night gown to my waist. My fingers fumbled down the buttons of his sleeveshirt as his fumbled on the buttons of my night gown. My night gown tonight was like Jessamine's, the buttons lined the bust area. Will has already opened it, exposing my chest to him.

Will sits up, breathing heavily as I was. To anyone who would see us, it would look like I was the agressor. I place my forehead on his, our gazes met and locked. He closes his eyes and puts his arms on me, sighing deeply.

"Tess, I want you so badly. But we can't." he whispers softly.

"Why not?" I ask bluntly, unable to stop myself. I bit my lip as the words escape my mouth, I was careless, to straight-forward.

"Because." his hands traced my body until it found its way to my stomach. He holds it there, tracing circles around, making me shudder. "Because of _him_."

I was careless last night, letting my emotions and my desires get the better of me. I have only been a widow for a few weeks, but here I was, almost doing such things with Will. Jem would definitely hate me now. I feel as if I am a whore, Will's to be exact. I sit up, holding my angel, calming myself with its mechanical rythm, _tick-tick. _I turn to look at Sophie who was preparing my dress for today. She notices me and smiles at me.

"Sophie." I called timidly.

"Yes, Miss Tessa?" she smiles.

"Would you fix my hair? Charlotte and the others must've been waiting long."

Her smile widens, "Oh, Miss, how delightful!"

I smile back at her faintly, moving towards my vanity. As always, Sophie's hands are skillful. My unruly hair turned so beautiful. She put my hair up placing the jade clamp, Jem gave me. Jem. What would he think of me now? If I wasn't pregnant, Will and I could've done _it_. I feel that I am betraying Jem. I frown.

"Is anything wrong, miss Tessa?" she asks, it seems she saw me frown.

"Sophie, would it be wrong if I say that I love Jem but a part of me would always love Will?" I say, looking at Sophie's reflection in the mirror. Her expression, unusually calm. She smiled at me.

"Miss Tessa." she says, "I'll help you to your dress."

"Sophie." I sighed.

"Miss, remember what I told you before? About not breaking Master Jem's heart?"

"Yes." I yelped as laced the back of my dress. "Too tight, Sophie. Too tight."

"Sorry, miss. Well, a year has passed, hasn't it? You didn't break his, but you broke your own heart and Master Will's, didn't you? Somehow, I see you and Master Will gaze at each other. He looks at you when you do not notice and you do the same. The way you two don't talk and the way you avoid each other, the nights Master Will stands in front of your room staring there with a straight face. I feel bad for him, how utterly unlike me?" she laughed, putting the finishinh touches to my dress. "Master Will has changed. Somehow he isn't very rude or arrogant, not to me, anyway. I think the reason for that change is _you_. I am curious, why did you agree to Master Jem's proposal? If you loved Master Will?"

"Because I love Jem."

"But you love Master Will too."

"I loved them both, Sophie. But I chose Jem."

"Because you thought Master Will hated you?."

"Yes." I whisper clutching my angel _and _the necklace Jem gave me.

"Does that mean, now Master Jem is gone, you and Master Will would be married?" She asks, her voice was dead, her expression was empty too.

I turn to look at Sophie,looking at my reflection, a pained and shocked expression was on my face. My head started to throb vigorously as I looked at her.

"I'm sorry, Miss Tessa." she speaks slowly "I don't mean it that way at all."

"Your tone is enough to know what you mean, Sophie."

I walk past Sophie, ignoring her words as they seem to be a chant, I couldn't understand them. The room started to spin, I lose my balance. I feel hands on my shoulders, Sophie's hands. She called out to me, calling my name. My chest felt tight, I couldn't breathe as if I was underwater.

"Let..me..go!" I breathe, trying to push her away. I felt a strange feeling inside me, as if my insides were twisting. I scream, unable to cope with the pain. My mind was a blur and so was my sight. My ears were ringing as I hear Sophie calling for help. I hear footsteps, someone was standing at the door. Despite the blurry vision, I could see those piercing blue eyes and his black hair. Behind him, I see Charlotte and Henry.

"Charlotte! Call the Brothers!" he shouts, his voice was clear and loud.

"Tess." he calls my name, then everything was swallowed up by darkness.

"_Tess!." _his voice rings through my mind.


	5. Chapter 5: Confessions

**AN: Hey guys! Here's the fifth chapter! Did it take long? Sorry! Well, okay. Here is the deal, tell me what you think will happen. Just for fun? ;) Please review so I can make it better!:D**

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"Is she okay? What happened to her? Is her child safe? Why did that happen? Is she sick?" I ask anxiously, holding Tessa's hand firmly as she lay still in her bed.

_Calm down, Will Herondale. She and her child are safe._ Brother Enoch's voice echoes in our minds, his stitched mouth unmoving.

"But what happened?" Charlotte asks, beating me to the question.

_She is not ill, there is no need to worry for it. Although, I cannot say the same for her child. Her anxiety builds stress and she does not get enough sleep and nutrients for herself and the child. The child grows weaker inside her as she experience more stress. Something or someone must have upset her greatly. _

"You mean, it is possible that she might lose her child?"Charlotte asks, her eyebrows creased, making her look a bit older.

_Yes, the possibility of the miscarriage is high but, it can be prevented. She needs rest, peace and comfort, as she has lost his husband just so recently. She must eat, sleep and rest more. Their safety depends on it._

I remain silent, listening to Charlotte and Brother Enoch talk about Tessa and her child's safety. Miscarriage. High. Prevented. Rest. Comfort. Safety. The words, slowly but clearly, registered in my mind. Tessa cannot lose her child, she already lost Jem. Losing her child would only devastate her, breaking her beyond repair. I don't want that, I won't let it happen.

_William Herondale, _Brother Enoch speaks in my mind, I look at Charlotte to see if she heard him, but her eyes were focused on Tessa. Clearly, he was only talking to me. _I trust that you can help her recover. You are the only one who can help her._

_Why do you think so? _I spoke in my mind, asking him there so Charlotte wouldn't notice.

_Because, next to James Carstairs, it is you she loves and you love her more than anything in this world. _

I look over at Tessa as she sleeps so soundly like a sleeping angel in the Heavens. I notice Charlotte moving towards Brother Enoch speaking in her usual tone, "Thank you for your services, Brother. We are truly greatful. Shall we?"

Charlotte and Brother Enoch left the room silently, I heard only the door softly closing. I move towards the chair to sit but, a knock on the door stopped me. The door creaks, opening slightly. "May I come in?" Sophie's disembodied voice asks.

"Come on in. I have a few questions." I answer using my old usual tone. I look over to Sophie who was fidgeting.

"Has the miss woken up yet? This is all my fault. I should not have said anything. I should have kn-"

"What do you mean?" I interrupt her, my eyes narrowing at her. "What did you say to her, exactly?"

She avoids my eyes, looking down and holding her hands together firmly but I can notice them shaking. "She asked me if it was wrong if she says that she loved Master Jem but at the same time loved you. Somehow, it made me angry that she had mixed feelings for the both of you. As I laced her corsette, I asked her why she agreed to marry him if she loved you, too. She says that it was because she thought you hated her. Then I asked her, now that Master Jem is gone, would she marry you. I came here to apologize and amend my mistakes."

"Sophie." I began, trying to keep the calm tone in my voice as I walk past her. "Come outside with me. _Now."_

I stressed my last word heavily. She walks behind me silently. I open the door, being a gentleman that I am, ladies first. I glance back at Tessa, sleeping soundly. I close the door softly and as I turn to face Sophie, I glare at her. She flinched. I curse at her in rage.

"All of this is your fault, Sophie! Why in the Angel's name would you say that to her! Do you not understand how fragile, how weak she is right now? Are you a goddamn idiot for not noticing that? I don't care if you act harshly towards me but don't you treat her like that! Is there a problem, Sophie? Do you hate me that much? You do know that I love her, I'd do anything for her. Hurting her would hurt me much more. Was that what you were thinking?" I shout at her angrily. I felt nothing but disgust and anger toward her.

She sobbed into her palms, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I do not have any desire to hurt Miss Tessa. She was a friend to me, she did not treat me as a servant, but as a friend. I didn't mean for this to happen. I apologize. I am deeply sorry."

I couldn't stop myself, I was on a blind rage. "What if she lost that child? What do you think would happen? She'll be devastated! Jem's death already devastated her enough, if she lost that child what more? She does not need anymore tragedies in her life. Why is it that you think I stay by her side? It is obvious that I love her! I love her too! Can I not be with the one I love to comfort her as she tries to destroy herself from a loss we both suffer?"

She stood there, still sobbing into her palms.I try to calm down, exhaling deeply. "Look, Sophie. Tessa, more than anything in the world, is the only woman I want. The only woman I loved so much that it hurts. And Jem, I would give my happiness, my life and my love for him because he is not only my parabatai but, also my brother. For him, I tried to let go of Tessa, so that he could be happy. I am, like Tessa, devastated by Jem's death. Am I that despicable to you, to think I would be happy that Jem is gone? Or that Tessa would immediately marry me and replace Jem in her heart? Do you think we are that heartless? We, who have loved Jem greater than anyone, would be happy about Jem's death? Maybe, somewhere in the future, we could be together. Jem requested this, Sophie. For me to stay at Tessa and their child's side, as a father and as a husband. If you want proof, I will show you his letter. Of course, he had given you one too, though I do not know what it contains. "

I look at her, my face registered no emotion. She spoke, her voice thick with emotion. "He told me, in the letter, that I should try to understand you. That, when it comes to you and Miss Tessa, I shouldn't say anything because '_He will bring her happiness_' he says. I am deeply sorry, Master Will. I just-"

"What is done is done, Sophie." I turn my back at her, heading back to Tessa's room. "I forgive you. Now, dry your eyes and rest before Gideon sees you. He will be upset. Good night, then."

I close the door and leaned back to it. I curse in an undertone. I couldn't control my emotions and blabbered unnecessary things. I close my eyes, tilting my head a bit so that it leans against the door.

"Will? Will, is that you?"

I felt a sharp prick in my chest. _Will? Will, is that you? _Jem. He spoke of those words when I came to his room. Now, it was Tessa who spoke them and from her lips, it hurts more to hear.

"It's me." I say, huskily. I approach the bed in a few long strides. I sat on the edge of her bed, holding her cold, sweaty hands. "Do you feel better, Tess?"

She groaned, placing her hand on her forehead. "What-what happened? I fainted, didn't I?"

"You did. I lifted you to your bed. It seems that you keep fainting on me. All this time, you haven't gotten used to my perfection?" I mused, trying to put a smile on her face. It was effective. She looked at me and smiled.

"Oh, William. Please, contain your vanity. I already feel ill and I don't want it to get worse!" She laughed, I joined her. Silence followed as her smile faded away.

"I dreamt of you." she began, forcing herself to sit up. "You were with Jem. Both of you were laughing when I appeared. Jem, took my hand and whispered to me, _You will be happy now, together with Will. Be happy, be safe. For me, my darling. _Then he vanished."

"Tess." I whisper,closing my eyes and placing her hand on my cheek. "Would there ever be a chance for us? Would you ever give me a chance to love you? Would you let me protect you and your child? Would you let me be first in your heart, though I believe what I ask of you is too much?"

"Will, I promise to speak what I truly feel right at the moment." she begins, her fingers idly stroking my cheeks. "Jem's death, devastated us both and continues to affect our lives. I love you, Will. I love you greatly that whenever I think of us, what could've happened, my chest tightens and the pain is unbearable. Sometimes, I want to run to you, to be held in your arms, and to tell you I am here for you, that everything is okay. My desire for the you, the burning flame that threatens to destroy the control I have over myself, devours my body. A chance for us, yes, I would love that. But what would other people think, Will? That I am a whore? That I am inconsiderate? That I am despicable for marrying the best friend of my husband? What would people think about us?"

"I don't care about what they say. I love you, that is all that matters. Let us run away, somewhere we could be together, just us."

Knowing it was a crazy idea, the answer from her was what I expected. "We can't do that, Will. We can't leave Charlotte and the others, they are your family. They are my family now, too."

"Therefore, you are trying to say that there is no chance for us?" My heart dropped as I spoke those words. I look at Tessa with pleading eyes as her gray-blue eyes stared into them. She smiles at me as I released my grip on her hand. Oh, Angel Raziel, her smile is the sweetest poison!

"No." she answers. I look away, unable to hide the hurt expression on my face. She cups my face with both of her hands, soft as cotton and cold as ice. She softly orders, "William, Look at me."

I turn my face to her as she moves closer to me, sitting beside me. "Why do you look so hurt when I am about to tell you that I love you and I want to be with you? That slowly, we can build a future together? You, me, and James."

"Oh, By the Angel, Tess! My dearest Tess." I exclaimed,my heart overflowing with joy. I lean forward, crushing my mouth to hers and embracing her as if the world shall end tomorrow. I break away because of a curious thought. I ask her curiously, "James?"

She takes my hand, placing it on her stomach. "He's a boy, so I decided to name him James. So that he'd always remind us of Jem."

I kiss her again, this time, softly and unhurried. She gently wraps her arms around my neck as I put my hands on the small of her back, pulling her closer to me. Her lips were soft against mine, it tasted like sugar and heaven. How delightful would it be to stop time and let us be!

"Will," she murmurs against my lips.

"Mh-mm?" I breathe, closing my eyes to take her in, her scent, her softness, her breath.

"Have you waited for this moment?" she whispers softly, her hands sliding to my chest and resting there.

I open my eyes, rest my forehead against hers, and fixed my gaze on her. I whisper, "I have. I have waited for this, to hold you in my arms, to tell you my love for you, to kiss you passionately, since the day I read those letters, the day I fell in love with you."

I lifted my head to kiss her forehead, gently and slowly. "My Tessa." I say softly, my gaze still fixed on her. Though my body aches greatly for her right now, her well-being is my priority. "You must rest. If you will continue to mope around and be sad all the time, Jem and I will be very disappointed. We are aware that you are stronger than that and you can overcome this. For James and Jem, be strong and for you, I will be here. You needn't worry. I will protect you and James. As Jem wishes it, then it is my duty to fulfill his desires."

She nods. "Stay with me?"

"Always."


	6. Chapter 6: Sebastian

**A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay. I've been busy and I haven't had any alone time with my laptop at all! Here's chapter 6, enjoy. I will try to upload Chapter 7 (this is my friend's favorite chapter. I don't know why she likes it though!) tomorrow if I get home early and if my internet connection isn't slow.**

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"Miss, miss." Sophie's familiar voice awakens me,"It is already past three in the afternoon. Mrs. Branwell asked to wake you."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Sophie." I apologize, yawning. "Does Charlotte need me? Where is Will?"

"Mr. Bane is here and he asks to see you. He is with Charlotte in the drawing room. Master Will is outside waiting for you to get dress." She laughs. "You are amazing, Miss. How ever did you do that?"

Before, Jem and I frequently visit Magnus to inquire about my _true_ identity. When Jem was unable to do so, Will accompanies me. Magnus, as he said, has become rather fond of me. And I have discovered, Magnus was fond of Will too-in a different way. I remember his words to me:

_'How lucky you are, child, to have William Herondale's heart. That boy will love endlessly and do anything for the person he loves. Trust me, I've seen proof of his love for you. Though, I believe telling you this would be useless now.'_

Magnus visits me frequently in the Institute either to gossip or just to drink tea. Although today, he did not send any notice that he'll be visiting. I break away from my thoughts and pull myself back to the present.

"Do what?" I turn to my side, looking at Sophie move around.

"Last night, he came out of your room singing a ridiculous ballad and a stupendous grin was plastered on his face. He even greeted me with in a singsong voice." she says as she fixes my gown. "This morning, he came into the dining hall, greeting and smiling at everyone like a fool. He even helped me carry some sheets. I've never seen him so giddy before."

"Then that's good to hear, isn't it?" I laugh softly. "At least he isn't grumpy all the time."

"It is. But not all the time! It's great to see you like this, Miss. Not only you, but also Master Will. I'm happy for you." she says as she holds my hands and smiles at me.

I squeeze her hands and smile back at her. "Thank you, Sophie."

"You are very much welcome. All right then, Miss, Mrs. Branwell and Mr. Bane are waiting for you."

"I am also waiting, Miss Collins." Will calls out from the other side of the door.

Sophie gives an agitated sighs. I smile at her ruefully as she escorts me to the door.

"Do women usually dress this long? Do you really need to look so pretty every time?" Will calls out again.

Sophie rolls her eyes and whispers, "I guess some things never change."

I give her an apologetic smile. As she opens the door, she raises her eyebrows at Will, "Master Will, eavesdropping on ladies is very rude. Have you not been taught well by Mrs. Branwell?"

"I was not eavesdropping at all. I left to get something in my room and I accidentally heard you when I came back." he says innocently.

Sophie scoffs in an unlady-like manner. "Of course, you were."

"All right, you two, stop it. Will, stop picking fights with Sophie. Go fight with Gabriel if you want, you always do anyway." I scold them.

Sophie laughs a little and Will raises his eyebrows at her. He looks at her and then fixes his gaze on me. "You can't blame me if Gabriel Lightwood is such a quick-tempered man or if he is jealous of my great looks and my ability to make ladies swoon over me."

"You wish, Herondale. You are arrogant and you do not have manners. Why in the world would I be jealous of a crude man like you?" Gabriel, walking towards us, scoffs.

"Dear me, here we go again, Miss." Sophie says in a low voice. "I'll get Mrs. Branwell."

"Please do." I whisper back.

"Arrogant? I do not have manners?" Will asks incredulously, "Were you not eavesdropping on us? You blame me? A pure, innocent, gentleman from a Welsh descent? I am appalled!"

"Pure? Innocent?" Gabriel snorts. "Ha! Who are you fooling, Herondale. With all those whores you've been with. I'm not surprised if you've gone to bed with _her_ already."

_Her_? He means me. I drop my gaze in embarrassment. I notice Will tense, closing his hands into fists. He glares at Gabriel and grits his teeth, baring them at him. I look at Gabriel who is glaring at Will too.

"Will, stop. Please." I beg him, trying to get in between them. This isn't their usual bickering. This is something else. Instead of listening to me, he moves forward, closing the space between Gabriel and him.

"You goddamn bastard, don't bring her into this. She has done nothing to you." Will snarls. "At least I did not sleep with a demon unlike your father. It is likely that you'll do the same, you bastard."

Gabriel stands firm and smirks, "You bloody little fu-"

"Enough, Gabriel." Gideon's voice booms as he walks towards us. He looks at me apologetically and I shake my head slightly, in response.

"Don't talk to him like that, Gabriel. What you've said was below the belt. Apologize immediately."

"Ha." Will scoffs. "As if he's capable of that."

"Will, enough." I say loudly. Gabriel laughs at him, making Will angrier. Will tries to charges towards. I suck in a breath and say as loudly as I can, "Enough!"

"But-" Will and Gabriel say simultaneously. Realizing that they did, they glare at each other again.

"When will you two ever grow up? Fighting here and there, everytime you meet!" I say angrily. "Will, stop taunting Gabriel everytime. Please."

"_Dios mio!_ What are you, twelve?" Gideon scolds his brother, hitting him on his shoulder. "You've said inappropriate things-"

"So did he!" Gabriel interrupts.

"You've not only insulted Will, but also Tessa." Gideon raises his tone, looking at his brother coldly.

Suddenly, we hear Sophie shouting as she ran through the hallways, "Master Will! Miss! We have a problem!"

"What's the matter, Miss Collins?" Gideon asks, anxiously.

"Mrs. Branwell" she gasps, putting her hand against the wall. She seems to be trembling. "She's in labor. The baby- the baby will come today."

"Where is she, Sophie?" I ask anxiously. "Are you all right?"

"I am fine, miss, just a little out of breath." she smiles weakly as she tries to keep herself from falling on her knees. "Mrs. Branwell is in the infirmary together with Mr. Bane."

"With Magnus?" Will asks.

"Magnus? Magnus Bane?" Gabriel asks. "A Downworlder? That warlock lover of that vampire, Camille Belcourt?"

"Old lover to be exact, Lightwood. I just can't stand such annoying brats like you, Gabriel Lightwood. I don't think I'll ever be fond of any of you." Magnus says irritably.

"I deeply apologize for my brother's behaviour, Magnus Bane. I assure you, not all of us are annoying. So, I hope you treat other Lightwoods differently." Gideon apologizes, and bows his head slightly at Magnus.

"Magnus, is Charlotte all right? Sophie said you were-"

"Oh, don't worry too much, dear Tessa." He cuts me off. He examines his hands casually. If you look closely, you'll see blue sparks from his fingertips. "The Silent Brother is with her, along with Henry Branwell, and he requests that you and your Nephilim friends calm yourselves and wait in the drawing room or elsewhere."

Will gives an exhasperated sigh behind me, though I doubt any of the others heard it. I nudge him and mouth the words: _Are you all right?._ He nods twice in response.

"We'll take Miss Collins to the Drawing room with us to wait and for her to rest. Are you joining us?" Gideon asks politely as he helps Sophie stand. Magnus ignores him and walks closer to me, smiling at me like usual, his cat-like eyes sparkling, .

"Tessa, dear. If it is possible, may I speak with you _alone._" he asks. He looks over me and raises his eyebrows, his lips curve upwards. "Oh, do you mind, William? Or are you jealous?"

"Oh please." Will rolls his eyes and I laugh slightly. I glance back at Will and he grins at me, like a child who has just receive a brand new toy. I turn to Gideon and tell him that Magnus and I will be talking therefore we will not be able to join them. Gideon assists Sophie to walk while Gabriel walks behind them,sulking. Will stays behind and pouts at me.

"I'll see you later, then?" He asks, looking at me through his thick, long lashes.

"All right." I say, softly. "Stop sulking."

He takes my hand and plants a kiss,soft as dew, on it. "Until later, my dearest Tess."

"What is this? A romantic play? You two are like characters straight out of a romantic novel." Magnus exclaims sarcastically, destroying the moment. "Do you need privacy? Let us all just pretend that I am not here. Oh, wait. You already did."

Will laughs loudly and walks away without another word, leaving Magnus and I curious if Will had lost his mind. I turn to Magnus who is looking at me accusingly.

"What? Is there a problem?" I laugh.

"Nothing. I'm just happy for you two. That boy is finally happy." he shakes his head slightly and offers his arm. "Shall we?"

We make our way to the Institute library and as we walk through the hallways, Magnus tells of his recent travels to America, Japan and China. When we reach the Library, Magnus scans the books on one of the shelves while I sit on the couch.

"So tell me, dear, how are you feeling? It has been months since we last talked." Magnus begins while still scanning the shelf.

"I am feeling a bit better. I am crying less and trying to live again, for Jem and our son. Having Will around is great, he makes me happy. Although, I feel guilty and unfaithful. I dream of Jem often. I wake in the middle of the night exhausted and my eyes are filled with tears." I answer, my eyes trailing him as he walks around.

He pauses and picks up a book, "The dream, what is it about?"

"I dream of Jem dying in front of my eyes, I cradle his limp body as he tells me to be happy with Will, to move on and forget him. From time to time, the dream is different. Sometimes, I dream of Jem, his lifeless body lay a few feet away. His hair and eyes shine against the darkness. His eyes, open and looking right at me. I scream his name repeatedly. I couldn't reach him. I couldn't move. I coudn't do anything. It drains the life out of me. "

"You love Jem? More than Will, dear?"

"I love them both. Equally." I sigh, "I tore my heart in two, Magnus. I did not want their bond to be severed because of me. But choosing either way would be the same. I tried to bury my feelings for Will but I couldn't. When I married Jem, I thought it was gone. I thought slowly it was fading but it wasn't."

"Let me give you a piece of advice. Follow your heart and stop thinking about other matters. If you are worried of what people think about you and Will, ignore all of it. A love like yours is hard to come by. If I had it, I would never let it go. No one in this world can ever love you like he does. You love Will and Jem equally. You married Jem; he died. You gave Will a chance, a chance to be happy and to be with you. I've seen him suffer greatly. I've seen him desperate and alone. Only you, Tessa. Only you can help Will. Help him forget what he'd been through for all those years. It was you who made his curse unbearable to him. It was you who gave him a reason to live. You two compliment each other well. I've never seen such two people who fit each other perfectly."

Magnus, a book in hand, walks towards me. "Tessa. You are hurting yourself more than you are hurting William. Life's too short for regrets."

"Tessa, Magnus." Will calls out, interrupting our conversation. "Charlotte's given birth to a boy! A baby boy!"

"How splendid!" Magnus exclaims. "A boy? Maybe in the near future I could-"

"I hope he turns into a very handsome boy." I whisper, my eyes on a very giddy Will. "Maybe like Will?"

"Like him maybe. Well, black hair and blue eyes are my favorite combination!" he laughs softly.

"Are you two whispering how perfect I am? You don't have to whisper if that's what you are talking about." Will says as his eyes shift from Magnus to me.

"Less the arrogance and the sarcastic remarks." Magnus rolls his eyes.

"I agree completely." I nod once.

Will raises his eyebrows at us, "Agree completely on?"

"Nothing for you to be curious about." Magnus says, winking at me. I smile at him and then turn to Will.

"Where are they?" I ask, walking towards him.

"Still in the Infirmary." Will answers casually. "Would you like me to escort you?"

"Well, then. Tessa, William." Magnus begins, smiling at us. "I shall be on my way now. Though I have not said my piece yet."

"Then stay, Magnus. You know how I love your company." I plead him.

"I will come back later, my dear." he grins, "I have to meet-"

"Woosley Scott?" Will interjects with a grin, and Magnus grins back at him.

"Yes." Magnus voice, not more than a whisper, echoes as he vanishes into the thin blue mist that suddenly engulfed him.

"Quite flashy for him. Don't you agree?" Will smiles, offering his arm.

"Magnus will be Magnus. Either way, he is one of my dearest friends." I say as I take it.

As Will and I walk to the Infirmary, we talk about the most random things. He tells how the color of my eyes remind him of the sea in Wales, how Church follows him around the Institute, how Cecily sends letters every other week, how excited he is to see Charlotte's baby, and how he's been reading the books I have suggested.

"Where is the copy of Dicken's Tale of Two Cities? I couldn't find it in the library. I wanted to read it again." I ask, tapping my fingers on his arm.

Will has held me in his arms a few times already. I've noticed how different his built was than Jem's. Will's body shows the years of training he had been through, while Jem's body looks delicate and fragile.

"In my room. Do you want to borrow it?" he glances at my direction, smiling happily. Will, these days, seem different. He smiles a lot, giddy all over, and surprisingly, less sarcastic and mean.

"All right. After we go to Charlotte, I should ge-"

"No." he says quickly, interrupting me. "Let us meet later in the attic. I want to show you something."

"In the attic?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. His smile widens, showing his pearl white teeth.

He leans over and whispers, "It's a secret."

He kisses me gently on the cheek, making my heart flutter like a wild bird trying to flap its wings in a small cage. He notices my reaction and laughs at me. In return, I glare at him for making fun of me.

"All right, all right. I'm sorry." he apologizes soothingly as he gently brushes his fingers against my hand placed in his arm. Out of the corner, Brother Enoch walks silently and tilts his head, as he noticed us.

_Will Herondale. Theresa Gray._ he greets us, his voice echoes in our minds._ Miss Gray, How are you feeling?_

"Well. Thank you very much." I smile at him. If his lips were not stitched, he would have been smiling back at me.

"Is Charlotte all right? Her baby? Are they inside the Infirmary?" Will asks.

_Yes. Both are all right. Charlotte awaits you. You should be on your way. _A moment of silence passes before Brother Enoch speaks in our mind again. _Miss Gray, I will come back tomorrow to bring you news. For now, I shall leave you to celebrate the birth of Sebastian Fairchild. _

"Yes. Thank you." I say.

Brother Enoch walks past us silently. And as he disappeared in the next corner, Will speaks as we continue to walk.

"Sebastian? She named him Sebastian?"

"The name is beautiful, Will."

"I don't like it." he shakes his head. "She should have named him after me. Oh, Charlotte."

"It is a better name than Henry's suggestion, Buford." I laugh.

"Agreed." Will shrugs.

As we reach the Infirmary, we see Charlotte sleeping in the far end of the Infirmary. Henry holds Sebastian in his arms and as we walk towards them, we notice his tears of joy. Will and I share a knowing look. Sophie cleans the unnecessary objects as the Lightwood brothers sit on one of the other beds opposite Charlotte's.

"Will! Tessa!" Henry shouts. "How delightful! Look, look! It's my son! Sebastian Fairchilld Branwell! Look at him! He is so precious!"

"Henry, be quiet!" Charlotte murmurs angrily.

"I'm sorry, darling. Sebastian is just, oh so precious!" Henry tries to whisper but miserably fails.

I look at Sebastian's small face, he looks like Charlotte, but he has Henry's ginger hair. I move towards Henry to get a better look.

"He looks like Charlotte, doesn't he?" I say, brushing his little rosy cheeks as gently as I could.

"Yes, he does. Except for the hair. I believe that's from me." he smiles. "Do you want to hold him, Tessa?"

"Can I really?" I say enthusiastically, a bit too much, I think.

"She's really excited, isn't she?" Sophie laughs.

"She is." Will agrees.

Henry gives me Sebastian gently. And as I hold him, I feel a strange happiness I've never felt. Holding a life in your hands, fragile and delicate, reminds me of Jem. A small smile appears in Sebastian's face.

"He likes you." Will, whom I did not notice move beside me, whispers.

"I think he does." I say, as I turn to smile at Will. "He's like Jem."

"Standing here, you two, along with Sebastian, look like one big happy family. It's beautiful to look at." Gideon laughs as he moves beside Sophie.

"I agree with you." she says as she smiles at him. Then, she turns to us, "Though, I don't think Master Will would be the best choice as a father."

"How can you say that, Sophie. I am a changed man!" Will says proudly.

"Do you want to hold him too, Mr. I-am-a-changed-man? Here." I say as I give Sebastian to Will.

Will holds Sebastian silently. He looks at him as if he's something he had always wanted. Looking at Will, he does look like a reliable father. And in that moment, I saw his eyes glisten. Tears. Will was holding back his tears. He closes his eyes and smiles slightly.

"Tessa, you were right. He truly is like Jem." he says.

"Master Will, Miss, we should leave the Branwells for now." Sophie glances at Charlotte, who seems still so tired even when sleeping.

"Let's go, then. Will?" I look at Will as he places Sebastian in the little crib beside Charlotte's bed.

He nods and takes my hand, intertwining his with mine. Sophie and the others have already left the infirmary. Henry was too busy with Charlotte and Sebastian to notice us. Will leans forward, placing his forehead on mine.

"Tess." he whispers, tilting his head so that his lips brush mine. "Later tonight. Meet me."

"All right." I whisper. I feel him smile against my lips.

"I love you, Tess." he kiss my lips gently. "I love you.

"I love you, Will."

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**A/N: Magnus, oh, Magnus. Everything he said about the Lightwoods, he'll eat those words when he meets Alec! MALEC 5eva! 3 Okay, so I couldn't come up with a perfect name for Charlotte and Henry's son so, I just named him after Sebastian Verlac. Ok. Sorry. In the next chapter, do expect a dirty sexy scene in the attic! Yep, expect dirty sexy scenes for the next chapters too. Especially, the one in the LIBRARY. R&R lovelies!**


	7. Chapter 7: The Attic

_**A/N: Hello, lovelies! Chapter 7 has been remade by my friend. There's a little bit of DSS here. Just a little. So, I've already uploaded Chapters 8 and 9 but I can't publish it. Dunno why tho. So,um, idek if this is good or not. I made the first parts, not the kinky stuff, Karen made that. Well, enjoy chapter 7 *fingers crossed***_

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_My Dearest Jem,_

_The day passed by quickly. Charlotte gave birth to Sebastian, another addition to our family in the Institute. He looks like Charlotte but he has ginger hair like Henry. I held him. For the first time, I held a new born child in my hands. It reminded me of you, Jem. Whenever I was with you, I felt that you were someone so fragile and delicate that I had to protect. I miss you dearly. How you smiled at me whenever I told you about our son. Before I started writing this letter, I felt him. I felt him, Jem. I was so happy, I even cried. How are you now, Jem? Are you happy? I am happy for you. Because you don't have to suffer anymore. Is your hair and eyes not silver anymore? I wish I could've seen you when your hair was still black. Jem, is it okay for me to be with Will? Will you still be happy if I was with him? But, Jem, I love Will too. It breaks my heart in two that all I can do is cry myself to sleep whenever I think of you and Will. Gabriel said something today, that maybe Will and I have gone to bed already? Do you think of me that way too? An unfaithful wife? Jem, come back I need you here. James needs you and Wi-_

A knock on my door startles me. I put the letter under a book as a voice, Gabriel's as I recognize, calls out from the other side of the door. "Tessa? May I come in?"

"You may." I answer politely despite my annoyance towards him this afternoon.

"I'm sorry. I hope I am not disturbing you." Gabriel says politely. "I wanted to discuss some matters with you privately."

"No. Please, sit." I motion him to sit on one of the chairs. As we sit down, I ask him."What matters do you want to discuss, Mr. Lightwood?"

"Please. No need to be so formal, Tessa. We are different from mundanes. We are-"

"Yes. Nephilim. You are less formal than mundanes." I say stiffly, examining his expressions.

He fidgets a little in his seat. After a few seconds, he clears his throat and spoke formally. And for the first time, I see Gabriel Lightwoods nicer side.

"Tessa, I apologize if I have offended you greatly this afternoon. I was infuriated with Will. My words were careless and I've offended you. On that matter, I humbly apologize."

"I know that Will is infuriating most of the time. You two keep on fighting like children. Why can't you ever settle your matters like adults, like gentlemen? On this afternoon's matter, it is hard to forgive you so easily, Gabriel. But, today, I choose to forgive you. But, promise me, stop your childish quarrels with Will." I fix my gaze at him, waiting for his outburst but, he remains silent.

"He starts it most of the time, Tessa. I just answer back. What am I supposed to do then?" he sighs.

"Ignore him" I smile at him as he raises his eyebrows. He must've thought I've lost my mind for telling him that. "I'll talk to him, too. You needn't worry. And, in the future, please do not direct your anger to anyone else."

"If our agreement is to meet ends, all right then." he puts his hands together and leans back. I see a spark in his eyes, a dangerous spark. "I know you do not consider me as a friend or an ally. But, I do hope it changes in the future. You make me curious and it seems that you are a very smart girl. It would be nice to talk to women like you."

"I hope so." I bit my lip. I do not want to do anything with him. There is something different about him. Something dangerous.

"Tell me, Tessa, what do you like about Will? I know that women swoon over him as soon as they see him. But your attraction to him is different. You married Jem yet you love him. Is it not correct?"

"I think those matters are not your concern, Gabriel." I say calmly, but deep inside, I am irritated by his curiousity, or rather to say, keen observation on my private matters.

"Hm. Well then," he says as he stands up, a cocky smile spreads across his face. He bows slightly,like any other gentleman would, and turns to leave. "I better get going. I must be taking your valuable time. See you around, Tessa."

"Gabriel." I call him. "Do ask Cecily if she has been doing great in Idris."

"Why ask me? Why not ask her brother?" he asks without facing me.

"I heard that you have taken interest in her. Isn't she too young for you, Gabriel?" I ask. I hint a tease in my matter of speaking though it seems that he didn't notice it.

He turns back at me and smiles, "I think those matters are not your concern, Tessa."

He leaves the room, closing the door silently. I cross my arms and narrow my eyes. "He is such a tease." I murmur to myself, I face away from the door and walk towards the window, only to see fog and darkness outside, no moon tonight. The door opens again, thinking that it's Gabriel. I turn around.

"Is there anything else you want to add?" I ask, my tone full of annoyance.

"No? I am just here to help you prepare for bed." Sophie answers, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Oh. I'm sorry,Sophie. I thought you were-"

"Master Gabriel." she finishes. She places a night gown on my bed along with a new dressing gown. "I saw him leave your quarters, Miss. Did he say anything to you?"

"He apologized." I pout. "about earlier. He was sincere. Until he mentioned my matters."

"Your matters?"

"With Will and Jem." I sit on my vanity and look at her through the mirror.

"Hmmm."

Sophie does not say anything else. Her skillful hands help me out off my tight dress, helping me clean my body and brush my hair. After helping me ready for bed, she speaks again.

"Those matters." she says suddenly. "Ignore what Master Gabriel says about you and Master Will. It does not matter."

I nod.

"Good night, Miss. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, Sophie." I smile at her as she closes the door.

I sit on my bed, picking up _Vathek_ and reading it again. Will had recommended it long before, before Jem proposed. Will! Tonight, he asked me to meet him in the attic. It is a quarter past eleven. He said that we should meet _before_ midnight. I withdraw the sheets and put my dressing gown hastily.

I open the door and peek sideways. The corridors are empty and the witchlight burns low, giving off a dim radiance. I walk silently through the corridors, fearing that I might be interrogated as to where I am headed at such a late hour. I reach the door leading to the attic in a few minutes. I open it quietly and begin to climb the narrow flight of stairs going up.

When I first came to the attic, there was no furniture, no light, just plain polished boards and a soaked, barefooted Will lying on the floor. But, this time, it was different. This time, the attic was illuminated by witchlight. And, in the centre of the attic, a cloth lay. On it, there is a basket, a wine bottle along with two wine glasses, and on the side, there is an unusual yellow flower. A midnight picnic. It is beautiful. Did Will do it all on his own?

"Do you like it?" Will's voice asks from behind. I turn around to face him.

"I do. It's beautiful, Will." I smile.

"I'm glad you like it, Tess." he whispers as he gently brushes his hand against my cheek.

He takes my hand and intertwines it with his as we walk towards the centre. I sit comfortably, taking note of my stomach, in the middle of the cloth and Will sits beside me, our fingers still intertwined.

"I have something to give you." he reaches for the basket and takes out a copy of _A Tale of Two Cities._ "I bought one for you. I wanted to keep the other book, but you needn't worry, it's the same replica. I've even written my letter to you, there."

"Your letter?" I ask, then I realize. "Oh. The one that starts with-"

He interrupts me and begins,"_Tess. Tess. Tessa. Was there ever a sound more beautiful than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that isn't it- a heart ringing-but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy_."

"Will,-"

He interrupts me again by gently placing his lips against mine. Kissing me gently as if I'm fragile as thin ice. He breaks off and looks at me intently with his eyes, blue as a lake. He whispers against my lips, "_Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it the second time with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney,for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion even if that thing was to die."_

Will's voice falters. I feel him shake lightly and that is enough to tell that Will is crying. I place the book on my lap and then, place my arms around his neck, this time, kissing him, as gentle as he kissed me before. I brush my thumbs against his cheeks, wiping his tears away. "Sshh. Will."

He rests his head lightly against my neck and continues,_"I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free." Will pauses for a bit, trying to control his tears. "And now at last, I am free and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart."_

Will looks up, his blue eyes shines and his tears glistens in the witchlight. He smiles at me, the sweet smile of Will Herondale. The smile he had only shown to me and to Jem. "_You are not the last dream of my soul. You are the first dream of my soul. You are the first dream, the only dream I was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream, I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetimes worth." _

"_With Hope at last," _I whisper as he touches my face and brush his finger against my lips.

"Will Herondale." he finishes. He smiles as he closes his eyes,tears falling. I move closer to him, boldly wrapping my arms around him.

"Dry your eyes, Will." His arms tighten around me, he sobs quietly.

"I've never expected that I would be able to hold you like this. I've never expected that you would ever say you love me too." he speaks softly, "Tell me, my Angel, am I dreaming? If I am dreaming, then I do not wish to wake up."

"It's not a dream, Will. This is real. Everything is real." I smile, leaning away from him.

He reaches towards my stomach, his hands on both my sides. I gasp as his hands touch me. "Let me, be a father to him. If it is all right with you? I do not want to see him grow up without one. Jem, through a letter, told me to do so."

"Jem wrote a letter to you?" I ask, fixing my gaze on Will.

He nods. He reaches the book from my lap and opens it to the page where he wrote his letter. In it, there is a letter with my name scrawled on it.

"He wrote a letter to you, too. I couldn't give it to you immediately because of your previous state. I wanted to give it to you when you're feeling much better. I was afraid that the contents of the letter could affect you greatly."

I sigh deeply, "I still think that you should've given it to me earlier, Will."

"I was just anxious becau-"

"It's okay. I will read this later. There's no need to fuss about it. What's done is done, right?" I smile slightly. I feel him sigh. He must've expected that I'd be furious at him.

"So," I reach forward, brushing loose hair away from his eyes. "Why else did you want to meet me here? I already have the book and the letter."

He turns his head towards the side and I follow his gaze to the flower. "That."

"What about it?" I ask, looking back at him. Instead of meeting my gaze, he reaches for his watch.

"Just in time. Look at it." he grins.

I look at the flower as it starts to glow. From it's dull yellow, slowly, it becomes a golden yellow. There are glittery pollen-like substances floating away from it. The colors change and dance around us, like tiny fairies dancing in a midsummer's dream. I look around and the flower illuminates the attic, ridding it it's dull color.

"Will!" I exclaim. "This is magnificent! Beautiful!"

Will chuckles and takes my hand, placing it between his. "I got it from one of my Fae friends as thanks for helping him the other day. He told me, I have to cultivate it a little more and so I did."

"What 's it called, then?" I squeeze his hand in excitement.

"Midnight flower. I decided to call it that, since it blooms only at midnight."

"Thank you, Will." I kiss him gently on his cheek.

He reaches for the basket and places it in on his lap.

"So, I asked Sophie to help me make these mini-cakes. I couldn't stand Bridget's ballads. The horror of it!"He takes a brownie, if I am not mistaken, with a bit of cream on top of it, and gives it to me.

"Are you sure _you _made this? It is edible, right?" I ask jokingly, examining the brownie.

"Of course I did! With a little help from Sophie. And, of course it is edible! Why would I give it to you if it's poisonous?"

I laugh softly, then, Will laughs too. Will does the things those men in novels do. He is like a character straight out from a book. He is truly like _Sir Galahad._

"Hmm. Edible, huh? Then, you eat it." I offer the mini-cake to him. "Here, say _aah._"

"_Aah._" He says, like a small child being fed by his mother. His eyes enlarge as his chews faster. "By the Angel! It is delicious! I underestimated myself!"

I laugh again, unable to stop myself. Will, acting so innocent and child-like, makes me happy. It is so different from the rude and arrogant Will I knew before.

"Here! You try it next. I assure you, it would be delicious." he says, offering another brownie. "Say _aaah._"

I open my mouth and bite the brownie. It _is _delicious. Will is right.

"Good heavens, it's delicious." I swallow. "You've done great, Will."

"Of course I- You got something here." he says, pointing at the bottom of his lip.

"Here?" I imitate him.

"No. Here." Suddenly, he leans forward and licks the bottom of my lip, tenderly. My heart suddenly flutters and I feel my cheeks heat up. "There. It's gone now."

When Will kissed me in the attic before, I felt something different from what I've felt when I'm with Jem. Fire. Passion. I feel that fire again tonight. Will and I gaze at each other for a while. He fixes his blue eyes on my gray ones. He cups my face with his hands. One of his hands drop down to my hands. I lace my fingers with his.

"Will, kiss me. Kiss me like you did on that balcony." I say boldly as I close my eyes.

Will did not waste any second. His lips crush towards mine, moving wildly. His hands play with my hair, running them through it. My arms creep around him, lacing my fingers behind his neck. In response to my bold actions, Will slowly traces his hands from my stomach to my side.

"Will." I whisper as his lips left mine, tracing kisses down my neck. He kisses my neck, sending chills all over my body. He moves, placing soft kisses from my neck to my shoulder.

"My Tessa." he says gently, breaking away for a moment, then, continues kissing my neck, this time, on the other side. "May I?"

"Yes. Ravage me, Will." I say, as I place my hand on Will's shoulder, the other, playing and tugging his hair.

His kisses grow stronger, more full of desire and more passionate. His hands trace my skin-leaving the places he touched a burning, ticklish sensation-up to my shoulder and gently pushes away the dressing gown, taking it off. I place my hand on his cheek, turning his face toward me. I bring my mouth down to his. He kisses me back, fiercely. His fingers fumble with the ribbons of my night gown. Puling them, one by one.

"Mh-mm. Tess. My Tess, my Angel." he moans softly as I trace my fingers on his chest. I fumble with the buttons of Will's shirt. He breaks away from me momentarily as he pulls his shirt over his head, leaving Will's chest and back bare. Women would die to see Will, half-naked like this. I gasp softly as I marvel at Will's nakedness and beauty. His chiseled body, different from Jem's. Black and white faded marks intertwined each other on his body. His parabatai rune, fading away. I remember during Jem's funeral, the parabatai rune on Will was bleeding. Erasing itself from Will, slowly it would fade away from Will's chest.

Will rests his forehead on mine, this time, he gently brushes his lips against mine.

"My Tess, You are beautiful." he whispers as he smile against my lips. I push him away gently and, again, marvel at his beauty.

"And so are you, Will." I whisper back. "Very beautiful."

I lean into Will, resting my head on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat thumping loud and fast. "Are you nervous?"

"Very." he says softly. Slowly, I kneel in front of him. He looks up to me and smiles. He gently tugs on my night gown, leaving my chest bare to him. I look away, feeling slightly embarassed. I notice him frown. Maybe disappointed in my appearance?

He places his hand under my chin, speaking softly,gently. "Look at me, Tess."

I let him guide my face so that our gazes meet. "You are absolutely gorgeous. I've never seen such beauty such as yours, my Angel."

He kisses me gently on my shoulder, below my collarbone, and on my breasts. Each kiss, a burning sensation against my skin, makes me whimper. Will hesitatingly kisses my breast before sucking, flicking his tongue against my nipple.

"_Aaah, _Will_._" I groan softly. "_Haaa."_

My hands wander off towards Will's hair, I tug on it as I feel Will smile against my breast. Will's other hand gently cups my other breast, gaining another moan from me. I miss this, the pleasure I am receiving from Will. The soft tingles in my body, the shivers and the heat I feel. Suddenly, I feel Will's teeth against my nipple, and suddenly, he gently bites it.

"_Will!" _I half-whisper, half-moan. "Oh, god."

He plays with my breasts, squeezing and massaging them. Biting and flicking his tongue against my nipples. Everything he did, makes me want more, makes me full of desire. He falls to his back, pulling me down with him. I rest my head on his chest as his arm pulls me closer to him. We breathe heavily, our chests rising and falling at the same pace. I yawn a little and Will notices.

"Sleepy?" he asks as he pushes the hair out of my face.

"Mhmm." I answer, absent-mindedly tracing my fingers across his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. _Thump,thump. Thump,thump._

"Should I carry you to your room, then?"

"Let's stay like this a little more." I whisper sleepily.

I feel his arms move around and I feel him cover me with my dressing gown.

"But, it is awfully cold in here."

"But, your body radiates warmth, Will. I am not cold at all."

"Tessa." he whispers gently, taking and lacing his fingers with mine.

"Yes, Will."

"I love you, Tess." he says, "Tonight was the best night I've ever spent with you."

"I love you too, Will. Maybe next time, it would be better." I close my eyes, slowly, the darkness claims me. All I could hear is Will's voice calling my name and then, nothing.


	8. Chapter 8: Goodbyes

**A/N: Sorry it took us long to update! Tris' laptop got lost so all of our files, including chapters 8-10 got lost. Okay! So, from now on, I (Karen) would be continuing the story because Tris is very busy. Tell me how you like it okay! DSS next chapter, I promise. And next chapter, you'll see a lot of Will and Tessa moments! ;)**

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"Good morning, Master Will." Sophie greets me, bowing her head slightly, as I enter the dining hall. "You look well."

"Of course I do, like always." I wink at her. "But, truly, I am in a splendid mood."

"It's rare to see you in the morning in a good mood. Something must have happened." Charlotte laughs lightly. She sits at the head of the table and beside her, little Sebastian sits on a high chair.

"Except for the narcisstic attitude, of course." Gabriel interjects.

"Good morning to you, Gabriel." I say as I take my seat a chair away from Charlotte,across Gabriel. "And good morning to you, Sebastian."

Charlotte raises her eyebrow at me as if asking _'Are you really Will Herondale?'_. I smile at her slightly and winks. She rolls her eyes and directs her attention to Sophie, mentioning a name that makes my heart flutter. She begins, "Sophie, where is Tessa? Has she not woken up yet?"

"Ah, she is already awake. She told me she'll be down in a while."

"I see." Charlotte nods. "Could you fetch her? I'd like to talk to her immediately."

"All right, then." Sophie hurries off.

"Will! Will!" Henry rushes through the doors. Behind him, Gideon follows. "Have you heard the news?"

"Hello, Henry. Gideon. What news do you speak?" I answer, taking a sip of my tea.

"Cecily. She's back." Gideon answers as Henry rushes to Charlotte's side.

"Truly! She's gotten more beautiful, it seems."

I glance at Gabriel who is obviously trying to hide his blush and miserably failing. I say, "Like brother, like sister. We are siblings after all."

"Not entirely." Gabriel murmurs.

"Well, she's much ill-tempered than I am. I therefore conclude that Gabriel and Cecily would make a great match. You have my blessing, Gabriel." I glance away from Gabriel to Gideon who sits beside his brother. "Ah, and where is my little sister?"

"Who are you calling little and why are you giving my hand away, brother. What gives you the right to do so?" Cecily answers as she opens the door, walking in, her eyes on me.

"_Brother. _See, I, on such a rare occasion, am in a great mood. And here's my sister, like always, in a bad mood."

"Because of you, _brother." _She rolls her eyes, accenting the word _brother_ heavily. She takes her seat next to Gabriel.

"Mrs. Branwell! Mrs. Branwell!" Sophie bursts in, running to Charlotte's side. "Miss Tessa's gone! She's not in her room."

"What? Where could she have gone?"

"I don't know. She took a few of her belongings. She didn't take anything else with her. "

I stand, staring at Charlotte and Sophie, wide-eyed. "Impossible! She does not have anywhere else to go. Have you looked for her?"

"I looked everywhere that she might have gone."

"Will, don't ac-"

I clench my fists and run out the dining hall ignoring Charlotte and Cecily's shouts. I did not even understand what they said. All that's in my mind right now is Tessa. I rush upstairs, checking all the rooms one by one. I reach the two doors leading to the rooms I am most familiar with- Jem's and Tessa's old room. I open Tessa's room first, hoping that I'd see her smile as she greets me good morning. I look around the room and it was the same as before-her books, neatly stacked in a bookshelf, Vatek lay on her bedside table, her bed was in disarray, the sheets were tousled as if she was dragged from her bed, her vanity was neatly arranged, minimal of clutter unlike Jessamine's, her curtains were drawn back and the window was open, letting the sun shine through. Though, it is unusual that the sun shines in London. An apparent glisten from Tessa's bed caught my eye. I turn the sheets over trying to find whatever that was. A crumpled paper with a few blood splatter and Jem's ring lay under her sheets. I push away the sheets revealling what it hid-A silver dagger, covered in dry blood. This was my dagger. Jem gave it to me when we became parabatai. On its handle, a silver chain, with the Carstairs' ring, hangs along with another ring with an unfamiliar pattern. Inside the ring, the name "Graymark" was embedded. I open the crumpled paper which reveals to be Jem's letter to Tessa. For Tessa's sake, I open it as it might lead to her whereabouts though would this be all right for him?

"I am sorry, my brother." I sit on Tessa's bed and begin to read, grasping the Carstairs ring in my palm.

_My dearest Tessa,_

_ I never thought that in my short life I would find someone as beautiful and kind to be my wife. I am grateful to you, my dear, for letting me love you and in return, loving me as well. In the next life, I hope to meet you and Will again. You are the only woman I have ever loved and the only woman I will love. I love you, Tessa. I love you until my last breath. But, I am sorry if I have left too soon. I wanted to be with you until our hairs turned white. _

_ If it is not too much to ask of you, would you let Will be the father to my son? I wouldn't want my son to grow up without a father. I am happy that I had a chance to be with my father even for a short while but it was quite miserable. I do not want him to experience the same. When he turns thirteen, please give him my ring. It is his to hold. I hope, unlike his father, would live a happy and healthy life. The silver dagger is Will's. I gave it to him when we swore to become parabatai. Tell my son to give it to his parabatai as I gave it to mine. _

_ I hope, that in the next life, you'll choose me willingly, wholeheartedly. I am aware that Will loves you too. He loves you greater than I do, maybe. For him, there's only one person he could ever love and that's you. As my illness gets worse, I hope that you and Will find happiness and another chance to be together. I admit that it hurts, but as long as you are happy, I will be happy. Knowing you, you would feel guilty and your heart would be torn. I swear by the Angel, my love, I am happy. It is enough for me to be with you even for a short period of time. Knowing that you loved me too and we have a son, the fruit of our love, that is enough for me. Please, be happy for me. Live a long, happy life with Will. I trust that he loves you, maybe even greater than my love for you. He loves endlessly, my love. _

_ If you are reading this letter, it means that I have already passed. I want to tell you that I love you in person but I couldn't. I did not want to see you sad, I did not want to see you cry. I was a coward, forgive me. I love you Tessa. Be happy for me. Live for me. Smile for me. Even after death, I will love only you. _

_Forever yours,_

_Jem Carstairs_

Jem. Your kindness cannot compare to anyone else's. You loved her truly. How unfortunate it is for us to fall in love with the same person. I bury my face in my hands, stifling my sobs.

"Will. My dearest Will." Tessa's familiar voice calls, pulling me up to my feet as I look for the source of her voice. I notice a slight glow from the table and rushed to it. The glow came from the book _A Tale of Two Cities_. I open it slowly as the glow intensifies. With my am, I shield my eyes from the intensifying bright glow.

"Tessa?" I call her name once again.

"_Will._" her voice calls my name. The glow subsides and I see her standing in front of me.

I stand there just looking at her in disbelief and relief. As I motion to embrace her, I say, "I thought that you were gone! I was-"

"_No. Don't come any closer, Will._" she cuts me off. "_I am only an illusion, a message I left for you._"

"Where are you? Where did you go? Why are you doing this?"

"_Because I have to Will. I woke up earlier than expected this morning. I dreamt of Jem. I decided to read his letter and, I did. He told me that he will be happy as long as I am happy. And that I should have a happy life with you. And I should not feel guilty at all but I do. This is the hardest decision I have ever made. To leave everyone in the Institute especially you, Will. But, I have to, for my sake. I will come back, I promise. When my heart has found the answer, I shall come back. Wait for me, Will. And don't do anything reckless. Don't you dare go whoring and drinking, all right? I will be with Magnus. By the time you read this, Magnus and I have already left London. Don't look for me, Will. If you do, you will not find me. I will come back to you. I promise you, that._"

"Tessa. Please, come back."

"_I promise, Will. I will come back._"

"Tessa." I plea, trying to hold my tears.

"_I love you, Will."_

With that, she vanished. I hear footsteps, probably Charlotte and the others.

"Will, are you all right?" Cecily asks worriedly.

"Will, Tessa is with Magnus. You needn't worry at all. She said she'll-"

"I know." I say as I push my way outside Tessa's room. I feel a familiar hand, gentle and small, pull my sleeve. "Let me go, Cecily. Leave me be."

I shake her off me. I hurry downstairs, picking up my coat along the way.

"Where do you think you are going, Will?" Charlotte shouts after me. She was not angry, but rather, worried.

"It is none of your business, Charlotte."

"Will!"

After a while of wanderind around, I decide to go to the Devil's Tavern and as I enter, all eyes were on me. I sit on the counter and Lucas, an Ifrit and the owner of the tavern, nods at me.

"Give me one." I say.

"Took 'ya long, 'erondale. Heard a warlock got your tail." He says as he serves my drink.

"Say that again and I swear, I will kill you here, Lucas. I'm not in the mood for your taunts." I glare at him.

He raises his hands, waving them. "Nothin' to be mad about, 'erondale Rumors travel fast. They are just rumors eh?"

I ignore him, hoping that he might just shut up. But, he didn't.

"Heard that 'ya lost y'r silver friend and that 'ya gone after his warlock wife. Ne'er have I seen a warlock be with ya Shadowhunters and ne'er in my life heard a warlock with Angel's blood. Now er'one wants to find 'er. Such an unusual case, eh?"

"Why do they want her?"

"'Er blood and 'er power. Rumor has it, she's got the White book in 'er hands. Er'body wants that book. It means power."

"Another." I did not really care about the White Book. As long as Tessa is safe and near me, I don't care about anything else.

"'ere 'ya go, 'Erondale. If 'ya want some information about the gal's whereabouts, you'd better give me some-"

"Are you going to tell me or would you like to see hell's door tonight?" I say impatiently, slamming my dagger onto the counter.

"Got it, got it. Now, get'ya dagger outta my sight." He waves me off. "That warlock o'er there saw 'er.. O'er heard her say that Magnus Bane was with a pregnant young woman, that must be 'er, right? Brown hair, serious face?"

Quickly, I was on my feet, walking towards the warlock. She looks very human except for her unusual, long purple hair. I say to her, "You."

"What do you need, my beautiful little Nephilim?"

"The pregnant warlock you saw. Where was she headed?" I ask impatiently.

"Unusual for a warlock to be pregnant with a child, more unusual, it belongs to Nephilim. A little Eidolon who knows little about magic but holds the White book. How unfair."

"Where is she?" I ask again.

"Patience, little Nephilim! I am a woman of games."

"Now is not the time for that, warlock."

"Shyaria. I have a name, Nephilim."

"So do I." I retort. She laughs.

"All right, Nephilim. I'll tell you where she is. You are intriguing. You love her? Yet you pushed her away. Then your friend, more like a brother, married her. And since then, you've been miserable. Now that your friend is dead, you are given a chance to be with her. But she left."

I remain silent. It is true. Every single word was an arrow through my heart.

"That pregnant little Eidolon's headed to Paris with Magnus."

"Why would they go there?"

"I do not know. Maybe she wants to become mortal. I sense her in you. You love her, Nephilim." she laughs lightly. "But there is no future for a Shadowhunter who dallies with warlocks. As you said it."

I bit my lip as the words she has spoken pierced through my heart. Those were the words I said to her. Those were the words that made her drift away from me.

"There is no reason for her to be mortal." I reason.

"But, there is." She stands up and leans close to me, whispering to my ear, "It's you, William Herondale."

I come back to the Institute and found Cecily sitting at the end of the stairs. She stands as she sees me enter.

"Will! Where have you been? What the hell are you thinking! You just can't go berserk like that." she screams, blocking my way.

"I am going to Paris. Now, move, Cecily." I glare at her.

"Why?" she asks stubbornly, still blocking my way.

"To find Tessa." I answer absent-mindedly. Right now, I have to think of a way to get to Paris soon. Where will I start to look for her? What should I do to find her? Her voice rings at the back of my mind, _Don't look for me, Will. If you do, you will not find me. I will come back to you. I promise you, that._

"No, Will. You will not go to Paris." Charlotte shouts, her voice loud and firm.

"There's no need to worry. I'll be staying in the Paris Institute." I answer dully.

"Why are you going there? To find Tessa?"

"Is there any other reason I'd go there, Charlotte?" I ask her sarcastically as my patience is running out. A burning feeling starts to ache on my cheek, before I know it, Charlotte has slapped me.

"Stop acting like this, William Herondale." she shouts, "You will not leave London. Do you understand?"

"You are not my mother, Charlotte. What right do you have to stop me?" I shout back.

"Will, stop it." Cecily says, "You're going to Paris just for a warlock?"

"Cecily." Charlotte warns her.

"Stay out of this." I glare at her. "Why would you care anyway? You've been apart from me for so long, do you think I am still the same as your brother?"

"Gwilym OWain Herondale. Do you think father would be happy if you-"

"He did the same, Cecily! Who are you to tell me what to do?!" I shout at her.

"Will. You will not leave London. That is final."

"Charlotte, you-"

"If you try to leave, I will have you reprimanded and dragged back in. So, please, listen to me. Cecily, come with me." she turns her back and leaves. Cecily looks at me with anxious eyes before leaving with Charlotte. I could not do anything but run to my room like a child, locking myself in, thinking about Tessa. Only her. I close my eyes and drift off to a dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9: Return to London Part 1

**A/N: Hello, everyone! This is chapter 9 Part 1. I hope you like it! Please review! xoxo**

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"Hey, Magnus, are you my father?" The black-haired little boy with big brown eyes asks innocently.

"William James Carstairs," Magnus says coolly, slowly taking a sip of his afternoon tea and enjoying the view of Paris from his window, "I have told you for a millionth time, I am not your father. Warlocks cannot-"

"Warlocks cannot bear children." he finishes. He remains silent, staring at Magnus as he relaxes by the window. After a few minutes, he begins again, "Then, is Maxime my father?"

"He's a werewolf. He couldn't be your father, Liam. Your mother does not know much about Downworlders." Magnus answers with a smile.

"Then my father is a Nephilim." Liam smiles triumphantly, "I knew it! I could feel it."

"Liam," I call him as I walk in their, "Stop annoying Magnus."

His big gray eyes light up as he comes running towards me, "Mother! Mother!"

I kneel down and open my arms. He hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Hello, Liam. Have you been good this afternoon?"

"Of course he was...good at annoying me and asking questions about his father. I really don't know who's son he is. Charmingly annoying like that boy." Magnus answers sarcastically.

"That boy? Is Magnus talking about my dad? My dad is Nephilim, isn't he?"

"Magnus!" I shot him a glare as I stand. "You told him?"

"I did not. He deduced it on his own that's why he's like him."

"Magnus, can we not bring _him _up?" I sigh deeply. I didn't want to talk about Will or Jem in front of Liam. But, I have to sooner or later.

"Mother," Liam tugs on my skirt, "Is my dad really Nephilim?"

"Yes, he is. You found out?" I raise my eyebrows. I've given up, now that he knows that his father is a Nephilim, he won't stop asking questions. It seems that we will be returning to London sooner. I sit on the chaise longue, motioning Liam to sit beside me. Magnus offers me some tea and sits on the other chaise longue, observing my son and I.

"With a little help from Magnus, mother." he boasts, smiling proudly at me. I laugh. He was like Jem except for his eyes, they were from me. Everything else was from Jem. Maybe if Jem did not have his illness, he could have looked like Liam. But, this attitude of his, boasting and being a bit arrogant, it wasn't from Jem. The only person like this was Will. He could be Will's son if people see Liam with him because of their hair colour. I smile at my own thought.

"Well, what an intelligent young boy you are." I pat his head, "Liam, Maxime will return later this afternoon. Behave, understood?"

"Will he teach me again how to play tonight? It has been a week since I played the violin, mother. Please?" he pleads.

"You should ask him yourself. I believe he'll be happy to teach you."

"Thank you, mother! I can't wait. I promise, I will be in my best behaviour." he grins.

I kiss him on the forehead, "All right, then. You should study now, Liam, so you and Maxime can play together later."

He looks at me, making me feel as if I'm staring at my own eyes. His large gray eyes seems to be troubled, as if wanting to say something but couldn't. Liam then asks a seemingly outrageous thought, "Do you love Maxime, mother? Don't you love father anymore?"

"No, sweetheart." I pull him to me, letting him sit on my lap. "I love your father. Very much. I can never forget him. You know, he looks just like you, except for your large gray eyes. You got that from me."

"I have beautiful eyes, Monsieur Boulanger said to me. I told him, I got it from you. They are beautiful like my mother." he says shyly.

"He's like his father." Magnus finally speaks as he smiles at me. He looks at Liam and then, back to me. "But he is a curious one, just like her mother."

Before I could say anything, Liam tugs me gently. With a straight face and eyes full of determination, he says, "I'd like to meet my father someday. Will you let me, mother?"

I could not answer him. How can he meet Jem when he's gone. How can I say to him that he has no father anymore, that his father is dead. _But he still has a father, Will can be a father to Liam, _ voice in my head seems to have spoken to me. If I return, Liam would still ask questions. Even if Will acts like his father, he'd still ask why his last name is Carstairs, not Herondale. He'll ask why I am not married to Will. He'll ask questions that I could not answer without tears falling from my eyes.

"Liam, you should study now. Maxime will be here soon, if you have not finished your studies, you might not be able to play the violin later." Magnus says, distracting Liam.

"All right, Magnus." He smiles at Magnus then, turns to face me again, "I'm going to the library, mother."

He kisses me on the cheek as I sit there motionless. All I could do was watch him as he disappears through the corner. I close my eyes to hold back my tears but, it only made it worse.

"You would have to tell him someday. He'll keep on asking about his father, you know that." Magnus sits beside me, holding my hand to comfort me.

"I know." I sigh, "I'm scared to return to London. Scared to see them again, scared to let Liam know the truth. And, scared to see Will."

"First, you can't hide from him forever. Actually you could, but that is not the concern here. Two, that child needs a father and Jem requested you to let _him_ be Liam's father. Three, you are in danger, my dear. We survived these seven years barely. Even if you, at this moment, are the most powerful warlock since you possess the White Book. You are lucky to survive all those attacks on you for the past seven years. Remember what happened in Champs-Élysées? Lastly, you are hurting yourself by forcing yourself to stay away from him, from the man you love. If you are going to tell me that you can not go back because of James, I will not believe you, my dear."

"Even so, Magnus, I-"

"You have to return to the Institute in London. With Will there, he'll protect you and Liam." He interrupted.

"But-"

He interrupts me again, "Stop it, Tessa. You are only fooling yourself. You have already decided but you are just scared to admit it." He looks me in the eye, his green cat-like eyes held mine. "You love James very much. We all know that. But you, you love William too. And you miss him! You sent him a pigeon and a message saying that you'll come back soon. Didn't you?"

I nod silently, looking away from Magnus as I could not hold my tears back anymore.

"Then, what are you worried about, Tessa?"

"Jem and Will."

"Tessa, decisions are difficult to make when the choice is between where you should be and where you want to be. You should be with Jem but you want to be with Will."

"I love Will, Magnus. I love him greatly that my heart breaks when I think of him." I sob, resting my head on Magnus' shoulder as he pats my back.

He lifts my chin, so that he and I were face to face. He asked in a serious tone, "Then, what do you want, Tessa?"

I didn't answer immediately but, I know the answer. I look him in the eyes, "I want to go back."

He smiles. "There you go. You should really be honest with yourself, Tessa. You're only torturing yourself. We'll leave as soon as Maxime returns. I'll inform Charlotte of your return tonight."

I embrace Magnus, thanking him for all of the things he had done for me and Liam.

Maxime arrives as Magnus and I were packing our things.

"Maxime, welcome back." I greet him, "Have you been well?"

"Ah, I am, dearest Tessa." he smiles, his words have a heavy French accent. "And you?"

"I am well. Maxime, after all this time you took care of us but now I'm afraid we must return to London."

"Then you're leaving tonight?" Maxime asks as he pours himself a glass of wine. "This manor would become so dull without you and Liam."

"Well, what about me, Maxime? I cannot believe you are forgetting me and I have not even left yet." Magnus whines.

"Yes, we must." I answer. "You must visit us there, Maxime."

"Oui, I shall, dearest Tessa. And Magnus, I have not forgotten you! I will never forget you." He gives a small box to Magnus and leans closer to him,whispering something in French. Then, Maxime kisses Magnus on his cheek.

"You better not." Magnus replies.

Maxime turns to me next, holding a large box. "Dearest Tessa, it has been a pleasure to have met such a beautiful warlock. I know that you like simple things but I believe, from time to time, a woman must indulge herself with things like these. For you, dresses made for a Queen." Maxime kisses my hand then, he kneels in front of Liam, holding the violin in his hand. "To you, William, I shall give you my prized violin, take great care of it, oui?"

"Oui, Monsieur Maxime." he says cheerfully as he looks at the violin, wide-eyed.

He stands up and pats Liam on the head. "Then, you should be on your way now. Magnus?"

"Portal ready. Shall we, Tessa? Liam?" Magnus reaches my hand and Liam's.

"Thank you very much, Maxime." I say, smiling at him as we enter the portal.

I close my eyes and before I knew it, the Institute towers in front of me. Memories flood back to my mind. I saw myself standing in front of the Institute, running towards Jem as I todl him that I was pregnant. I saw Will too. He was embracing me as he told me that Jem was dead.

"Mother," Liam tugs on my skirt, like he always do. "Where are we?"

"Where in London. And that's the London Institute." I answer him, as I continue to marvel at the Institute that I've missed so greatly.

"Shall we?" Magnus asks.

"Magnus Bane?" A familiar voice, a beautiful voice that breaks my reverie, speaks. The voice which used to call my name and when it does, my heart melts. His voice made me remember his piercing midnight blue eyes as they gazed upon mine, his silky black hair that sometimes fall into his eyes, making him look more beautiful as ever, and his touch makes my heart beat faster every time. Every touch felt like a burning touch, and his lips, soft as roses, how they felt when they were against mine. That voice belongs to the man I've fallen in love with, other than Jem. It belonged to Will Herondale.

"Oh my. It's been a long time." He says as his eyes avert to me as I stand there, unable to move, unable to face him.

"And who is this little fella?" He asks.

"I'm not a little fella! I have a name, sir!" Liam answers him instead.

"And what would that be?"

I could hear the smile in his words and it made me smile. How they converse, it seems like Will was talking to his seven year old self.

"My name is William James Carstairs, sir. Who might you be?" Liam says haughtily.

"Liam, come here." I say as I pull him closer to me.

"C-carstairs?" he exclaims. "Then- by the Angel- "

Will remains silent for a moment and my heart beats faster and faster as the silence continues.

"Tess. My dearest Tessa. You've come back." Will says shakily. His words trembles as it seems that he was crying. I muster my courage, and slowly, slowly I turn around, hiding Liam behind me.

"Hello, Will." I smile at him, unable to hide my tears. "I've come back."


	10. Chapter 10: Return to London Part 2

**AN: Sorry for the long delay! So Tessa finally comes back, what's gonna happen? LOTS OF MAKE UP SEX. **

**CAUTION: THIS CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT but I know you waaaaant it**

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Will gapes at me before he breaks into a run and embraces me so tightly; I feel I could not breathe. But it was him—not just his embrace—that takes my breath away. Finally, I am with him. I've yearned for him for all those years while I've mourned for Jem. I badly wanted his company, because among all others, Will loved Jem like I did.

Will's chest heaves which means he was sobbing quietly; maybe he too was lost for words. At this moment, I do not want to speak at all. I want to enjoy this moment—our long-awaited reunion. He desperately mutters, though his words were muffled by tears, "Please. Please don't let this be a dream. Please tell me you are real—that you're really here, that this is not one of my hallucinations. Please, Tess."

I place my arms around him as tears silently roll down my cheeks, "No, Will. This is as real as you and me. You needn't cry anymore."

I pull away from him slightly, lifting his face to mine. I cup his face with both of my hands and wipe his tears away. He closes his eyes; a pained expression contorts his face, his voice trembles as he speaks. "Will you leave again? Will you leave _me_ again?"

"No. I will never leave again." I answer him happily.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Slowly, he opens his eyes—an intense shade of blue that makes me gasp inwardly. I have missed those eyes and how they looked at me, as if they could see the deepest part of my soul. He holds one of my hands against the side of his face as I let the other rest on his chest. He gently reaches up to my face and brushed his thumb against my cheek. His touch made me tremble—not in a bad way but in a different way that makes me afraid that if he continues, I'd want him more and more and until I could not be able to stop wanting him anymore. Suddenly, I feel my whole body ache, making me bolder. I lean towards Will, letting my hands fold on his neck, and pull him closer. I ask nervously, yet my voice sounds so bold, "Will, kiss me."

He let out an imploring moan before he crushed his lips onto mine. It was desperate, hungry, and needing. But, the soft feel of his lips remains. I could not help myself; after all those years away from him, it feels like I can never get enough of him. I kissed him back, passionately, desperately, hungrily, just as he did. Oh how wonderful it feels, I thought. Will pulls me closer to him, his hand rests on the small of my back while the other cranes my neck towards him. I quietly moan against his lips as his kisses grow deeper. I feel his teeth softly grazing mine, as if asking for an entrance; I oblige, opening my mouth. His tongue, tasting like nectar and rum, tangles with mine. Ecstasy runs through me and, I know, it runs through Will as well.

"_Ahem. _May I remind you that you are not alone and you stand in front of _moi _and your son, Liam." Magnus interrupts.

I blush, breaking away from Will whose cheeks reddened, desperately trying to hide them. "Oh my. I apologize."

"And, I, too." Will coughs.

"All right, Liam." He taps Liam's shoulder," Turn around. You can open your eyes now and you can uncover your ears now."

"Who are you? And why are you explicitly seducing my mother?" Liam folds his arms in front of him, scrutinizing Will from head to toe and back with a raised eyebrow.

Will stifles a laugh and looks sideways at me, raising his eyebrows, too. "You sure that's Jem's?"

"Are you suggesting that's yours?"

"I did not mean it as an insult or like that."

"Surely seems so." I narrow my eyes at him, putting my hands on my waist.

Magnus groans indignantly, "Good heavens! Kissing provocatively and then fighting? Really, now, what's next?"

I smile at him sweetly, "Oh, you know the story."

"Mother, this man, he has black hair like I do. Is he my father? I am curious." Liam asks.

"Liam, he—"

"I could be, if you like. Name's William Herondale. You can call me Will." Will interrupts, kneeling in front of Liam and ruffling his hair.

Liam looks at me and then, to Will. He frowns and dips his head. "But, you are not my father, are you?"

Will looks up at me as if asking permission to talk about Jem. I nod hesitantly.

"I am your father's _parabatai._ A hunting partner, so. But, he is more than that. He is my brother and my closest friend. Nephilim like me and you—since your father is one; you are too for Nephilim blood is dominant—don't get to live long. We die in battle but never in vain. Because we protect people. We protect people who are important to us. You're an intelligent young man and you would very well understand—"

"He died. Didn't he?" he frowns. He looks up to Will behind his long lashes, "Was he a brave man?"

"He was. Until the very end. He'd be proud of you if he saw you, Liam." Will answers proudly.

Liam looks as if he was about to cry, but he did not. He makes me proud; Will is proud of him, I can see it in his eyes; And, Jem will be proud of him too, no doubt about that.

Liam grins and answers haughtily, "I know."

"Good heavens, this child reminds me of myself!" Will laughs.

Will escorts me and Liam into the Institute since Magnus has business to attend to, as he refers to it, he bids Liam and I goodbye and disappears in a blue cloud of sparkling smoke. Will tells me about the changes in London in the Institute and so. Cecily, who came here before was currently in Idris; Henry was also in Idris to show his now-working inventions; Charlotte remains in the Institute with Sebastian and their three-year old daughter, Lucinda; Gideon, for the time being, helps Charlotte run the Institute; And, Sophie who was now married to Gideon has ascended and had their first child, Isabella, a year ago. So much has changed, I am completely in awe. Will tells me that everyone has retired to bed and that tomorrow we should meet. Along the way, Liam says he's sleepy, so Will happily gave him a ride on his back. While Liam sleeps on his back, Will smiles, and I notice he was blushing, "This was something I've always wanted to have with you."

"This?" I ask, confused by his meaning.

He gives me a quick kiss and says, "A family."

I smile at him and he does to me.

Alas, we reach the room, Jem's and mine. I hesitate for a moment. But why should I? This was ours, I thought. Will opens the door and lays Liam on the bed. He tucks him in and I give the sleeping angel a kiss. "Sleep well, my angel." I whisper.

"No luggage?" Will asks suddenly.

"Oh." I exclaim, "Of course, I forgot." I hold my hand in front of me and blow on it, the dusty purple mist enlarged and as it clears out, and our luggage appears. It was a spell Magnus had taught me. It was a transport spell and a holding spell together. Will looks at me with an open mouth, "You—did you just—?"

"Will, I am a warlock, technically." I laugh.

He smiles at me darkly, "A beautiful, sexy warlock, that is. I've missed you and oh, I swear by the Angel, I suffered quite a lot."

I begin to frown but he pulls me to him, making me gasp instead.

"So did I." I say,, my voice sounds husky and seductive. Did he notice it as well?

He trails kisses from my mouth to my throat and he continues, "Do you know how much I missed your lips?"

He kissed me again on my lips, harder and deeper than before. It was desperate and delicious. Oh, how I miss this! I thought. Will nips at my lips, and thrusts his tongue into mine. His mouth was so ferocious and unforgiving it arouses me greatly, and I know he is too.

"Forgive me for being ungentlemanly, Tess. You do understand what you do to me and how you affect my entire being, correct?"

I nod, biting my lip. He pins me against the wall, seizing my wrists and pinning them to the both to the sides of my head, as if I was surrendering. He presses against me, with his knee in between my thighs, pressing against my groin. I try to struggle but my groin moves against his knee, giving me a pleasure I've not felt for a while and, eliciting a moan from me.

He smiles darkly again. He keeps his lips near mine but enough distance for me to stare in his eyes, which were burning with passion. He releases my hand but it falls and lays limp on his shoulders. His fingers trace my lips, tom my throat, to the crevice of my breasts and to my nipples. He groans, "And oh, during those times you were away, did you not think of my mouth on your breasts, suckling them passionately and making your nipples hard?"

He was putting these thoughts in my mind, and I feel my pussy throb. It aches for Will as his aches for me.

"Did you have those sleepless nights? Imagining me touching you; my cock thrusting into you in an insatiable rhythm; pounding you again and again until you reach your climax?"

A sweet moan escapes me as Will smiles at me before kissing me again. His hands turn lax and release my wrists. I place them on his chest. My hand wonders, tracing Will's frame sliding down over his chest, down to his flat, strong stomach until I reach his trousers and boldly cup his hard cock.

I was now, I become aware, taking him.

Will groans as I stroke it lightly, he shudders at my touch.

"Heavens!" He moaned as he reaches for the laces of my dress at the back. "I-I won't be able to stop myself from taking you, Tess. My mind shouts _Take, take, take!_ Tell me now if you want me to stop."

"Then, take me, Will. I am yours." I breathe.

Will kisses me ferociously as he tugs on my laces. I part my lips lightly, granting his tongue permission to enter.

"Oh my god, Will!" a female's voice exclaims. I am certain I've heard it before. It belongs to a petite dark-haired and blue-eyed young woman.

Cecily.

* * *

**Next chapter will contain the hot-and-heavy-long-awaited-Wessa-sex. Review please! x**


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